If you are obsessed with avoiding deep embarrassment over trivial matters, you may be turning Japanese. If uncertain, consult your local geneticist immediately.
When shopping around for a new religion, try to avoid those that practice human sacrifice. It’s usually the new guy that gets picked for that honor.
Our best decisions are informed with love, our worst, by its absence.
Being featured on an episode of “America’s Most Wanted” might be a sign that you are developing some serious character flaws. Take heed.
At one time life was very simple. Then multi-cell organisms showed up and it’s been pretty hectic ever since.
Never surrender. There’s no one to take you prisoner anyway.
The most insignificant day of the week is Tuesday. Nobody looks forward to it, no one remembers what they did. Nothing happens on Tuesday unless some major holiday happens to fall on one every so often, and then people are disappointed, declaring the holiday ruined. Tuesday is the Rodney Dangerfield of weekdays.
Used to be that only 2 presidents got A Day, and they were our Top 2 – Abraham Lincoln (February 12) and George Washington (February 22), and on their actual birthdays, which were were both national holidays no matter what day of the week on which they happened to fall, instead of what we have today, PRESIDENTS …