men-in-black-wheel-3Well men, it’s the Sunday before Valentine’s Day, that syrupy sweet confection of a holiday revolving around pleasing women (which you will celebrate with all your might if you know what’s good for you), but today is your day,


You will read no sappy greeting cards and nibble no bonbons, nor will you need to find a vase for those roses. The only reservations you will make is with your recliner and TV set, and the golden bubbly quaff of choice will not be champagne. It will be a day of manly pursuits and manly priorities; beer, sports, loud tools, cars, gambling or any combination thereof, with open flame involved if at all possible. The original idea of International Man Day was to promote men’s health, but real men know that’s for sissies, and “living healthy” is simply a euphemism for taking all our fun away. There can be no Man Day without chips, pretzels and one sort of greasy meat or another, with plenty of suds to wash it all down, then doing something dangerous for no discernible reason. Pants optional.

•Suggested Activities: Restocking the First Aid kit beforehand.

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