•Editor’s Advisory• In case anyone was tempted to blink or catch their breath after last week’s real-time Administrative implosion, don’t. The scariest parts of this rollercoaster ride might come at any moment with no warning.
Week #28 dawned with no shortage of reminders that President Trump is truly the distillation of all the worst things about America in one man, the Perfect Storm of Not Getting It.
Right off the bat on Friday he flies to Long Island and tells an audience of Federal, State, and local law enforcement officer that police brutality is cool again, a statement immediately condemned by police organizations nationwide. Leaders put him on speakerphone so their whole staff could get a load of this idiotic bullshit. Not even letting Kellyanne Conway out of her cage helped stifle the backlash.
Saturday Trump was rained out of golfing, so instead he promoted another Trump property by going to dinner at Trump International Hotel, costing taxpayers a slightly smaller fortune than his golf outings.
On Sunday 4-Star Marine General John Kelly (ret.) replaced Reince Preibus as White House Chief of Staff, as much for having a name Trump can pronounce as his reputation for being a strict disciplinarian. First thing Kelly did was fire the guy who fired Preibus, the abrasive little rooster Anthony Scaramucci, dealing a severe blow to the nation’s comedy writers, who already had notebooks filled with Scaramucci material, and the Good General is a complete dead end for laughs.
Also this week, Trump trotted out Steve Bannon’s personal Kraken, Stephen Miller, to announce sweeping reforms of Immigration policy, and Mr Miller took the opportunity to scare the shit out of America that this guy is a Senior White House anything. In a nation of immigrants, this administration proposes cutting immigration in half.
The laws Trump seeks would have prevented his own grandparents and 2 out of his 3 wives from entering America, leaving us to wonder if this is a policy or an exercise in self-annihilation.
Trump’s whipping boy Attorney General Jeff Sessions tried to get back in his good graces by announcing Justice Department directives designed to stop educational discrimination against (get this!) White people. This gives America’s minorities full equality with LGBT Americans, generously granting them 3/5ths of the Civil Rights enjoyed by regular (White) citizens.
It was revealed this week that Trump collaborated with Fox News in fabricating a story accusing Democrats of murdering Seth Rich as punishment for stealing Hillary Clinton’s emails, accomplishing something few though possible; lowering the bar for both Fox News and Donald Trump. Winning!
The transcripts of Trump’s phone calls with the presidents of Mexico and Australia were also released, providing even more eye-popping, jaw-dropping insights into the scattered and shallow mind of cruel little man who’s in way over his head (like we we need more reminders of our bleeding, gaping wound).
You just know those two world leaders put his calls on speakerphone so their staffs could get a load of this unbelievable bullshit and have some good bellylaughs.
There was more, much more, and it was just as horrible and insane, but the demands of space, decency and churning stomachs have spoken.
The week ended with news that should have been accompanied by ominous background music when it was announced that Robert Mueller has convened a Grand Jury as a result of his investigations into the Trump/Russia scandal. Instead of bassoons, however, we were treated to a cacophonous crescendo of frantic beeping sounds heard in the White House immediately afterward, the mass speed-dialing of criminal attorneys.