Singer, Songwriter & Mad Blogger
Call Us Free: 1-800-123-4567
Politics

I MEANT WHAT I SAID UNTIL I DIDN’T ANYMORE

You've got to love Bill O'Really? the entertainer. He gives John Stewart of "The Daily Show" a run for the money when it comes to fake comedy TV news. Take teen pregnancy. Recently when the unwed teenage sister of Britney Spears got pregnant old Bill mounted his high horse and condemned her parents as "pinheads" for their failue to supervise and educate their daughter. Then the same thing happens to the Vice Presidential candidate's daughter and Mr. O'Really? decides he doesn't want to repeat the same jokes and so announces that this time, it's a private family matter and none of our business as long as the child won't be subsidized by taxpayers.

Never mind that the Spears family is a lot wealthier than the Palins and their grandchild won't be on welfare anytime soon. Good comedy need not be consistent in its message. After all, it's just entertainment. Ask Ms. Palin, who in her rousing speech at the Republican National Convention neglected to mention that she once supported the infamous "Bridge to Nowhere" before she didn't support it. She also forgot to mention that she sought the support of the Alaskan Independence Party, a group that advocates secession from the United States, the same nation she now loves so much she wants to be its Vice President. Perhaps she figured British Petroleum, the company that sponsored her gubernatorial inauguration, would sponsor her as President of The Christian Republic of Alaska.

She wants Creationism taught in schools and has referred to the Iraq war as "God's task," a time honored faux-Christian ploy going back to the Crusader Popes. Pretty amusing unless you're the one on the wrong end of God's artillery. Sarah Palin also happens to collect assault riles, an odd hobby for a born again Christian, unless maybe she figures to battle the devil alongside Jesus when the Rapture comes any day now. Hard to say what goes through the minds of these numbskull born-agains.

One also wonders if she still opposes sex education in school. Governor Palin wanted abstinence-only taught to students, which sort of didn't work out for her own kid, so look for a turnaround there, too. And maybe she'll come up with a snappy comeback for those who ask her about her attempt to ban "certain books" from the public library (just the one in that bustling city of 9,000) when she was the Mayor of Wasilia, Alaska, even threatening to fire the librarian who thought that idea was nuts. Maybe she'll go with "Just kidding!"

But Sarah Palin's in good company with John McCain when it comes to firmly believing what they didn't used to. McCain used to hate Karl Rove, but now he has a bunch of his proteges working for him. He used to call the Christian right wing facists a bunch of meddlesome lightweight dopes, but now he can't kiss enough of their asses. He hated the president but now praises him. He also swears he's the real candidate for change, even though he voted with Bush The Younger over 90% of the time, maybe figuring 10% maverick is plenty enough. After all, 72 year-old full-blown mavericks are sort of sad.

But just maybe his strategy to get people to pay any attention to him is to keep changing policies, thinking voters will be intrigued enough to tune in and see what he steadfastly stands for this week. Again, it's hard to say what goes on in the mind of a guy facing the early stages of Alzheimer's Disease. Like Minister of Propaganda O'Really? says and then un-says, the criteria for picking Presidential Candidates and Vice Presidential candidates should be long and hard experience in Washington and that powerful oratory is no substitute for leadership skills, with the exception of gun-toting Governors of Alaska who toy with the idea of seceding from the Union. McCain thinks he's pretty sure he agrees with that for the time being. Maybe. At least for now. Tune in next week for another episode of "How The Mind Wanders." You just might find a policy you like.

Share This Post
Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.