You know how we sometimes disagree with our siblings, call each other nasty names and argue bitterly, but ferociously defend that same brother or sister against attacks and criticism from outsiders? You know, simple loyalty to your own and the recognition of the overriding bond that exists between you, far more powerful than our petty squabbles and a huge part of our identity. As we grow and mature, this loyalty is extended to our friends, our schools, our hometowns and most of all, our native country.

Well, as we learn once again, that loyalty and those unbreakable bonds are not Trump family values, any more than is exhibiting good manners towards one’s hosts, as the Japanese found out even as his plane was landing when he Tweeted this bit of insanity in response to Kim John Un firing off a series of ballistic missiles that could easily devastate Japan, and setting off a firestorm of outraged protest by not only the international community but by members of Trump’s inner circle: “North Korea fired off some small weapons, which disturbed some of my people, and others, but not me.” 

This is how far he was willing to go to maintain the lie he keeps telling the world about how much success he’s had negotiating with Kim Jong Un, when in fact North Korea never even paused in its development of nuclear weapons and the long-range missiles with which to deliver them to North America. Even though he exposed himself once more as a bloodthirsty and unpredictable tyrant when he had his chief “nuclear negotiator” executed after the last round of failed talks with Trump, Kim is happy to play along with Trump’s public relations charade, and has shown a Putin-like interest in keeping him in power, since Trump is the praise-hungry and easily manipulable fool most responsible for Kim’s and North Korea’s elevated status on the world stage, and has even taken to publicly belittling Trump’s political rival and former US Vice President Joe Biden.

Naturally, this was the point where Trump vociferously defended his brother American against outsiders and warned Kim to stay the hell out of America politics and stop his trash talking about one of our people, then reassured the jittery Japanese that they had indeed rolled out the red carpet for the right guy, an American President who took his role as SEATO member seriously and would take decisive action to contain and neutralize any threats to our allies by standing up to Kim and his intimidation tactics.

Just kidding of course. That guy ain’t President anymore.

Our current President just spent the first 4 days of Week #124 in Japan trashing our own people in front of outsiders, bitterly attacking the government he (mis)manages, undermining the purpose of his trip to Japan with inflammatory claims that Japan practices predatory trade policies, and, in act of supreme pettiness and disloyalty, ordering the United States Navy to “hide” one of its warships from sight because it bears the name of dead war hero John McCain, whose ghost haunts him, even preventing sailors from the USS McCain from attending his speech on another US warship because their uniform caps bore the name of their ship. 

To hear Trump tell it, over half of American citizens are enemies of our country instead of our brothers and sisters, and our free press is a burdensome liability filled with liars and traitors not worthy of the First Amendment protections that are (or at least used to be) the Gold Standard for free speech, a consistent narrative promoted by (!) our own president portraying America as a wounded, divided and vulnerable giant, ripe for the taking. On Saturday he even did a decent Kim Jong Un impersonation by threatening to execute the FBI’s James Comey, Andrew McCabe, Peter Strzok and Lisa Page for treason for their role in exposing his own anti-American treachery.

As he left America on Friday to the sound of one Republican Congressman killing the fast-tracking of a disaster relief bill already a year overdue as we head into this year’s Hurricane season and more potential natural disasters, while large tracts of America are currently underwater from fresh flooding, Trump informed the world that he is sidestepping Congress to sell even more weapons to Saudi Arabia since they depleted their supply of bombs and bullets killing civilians in neighboring Yemen, just weeks after Congress voted to end US sponsorship of the Saudi’s religious (what else is new?) genocide against their neighbors, so Trump being out of Washington for a few days did not remove his foul stench.

And speaking of a foul stench, we learned on Saturday that Trump’s pit bull John Bolton has been an active part of undermining the country as well when we learned that something called “the John Bolton Super Pac” paid Trump’s former pit bull Steve Bannon’s British-based propaganda machine Cambridge Analytica $1.2 million to continue “their important work,” an organization dedicated to bringing down the established order of things in this world by using Trump “as our blunt instrument,” in Bannon’s own words. 

Not that the odious Bannon is satisfied with the Blunt Instrument In Chief he helped create or the people who support him, since he predicted Trump’s downfall once his deluded supporters realize “he’s just another scumbag,” worth only a fraction of his claimed wealth and possessing an even smaller fraction of his claimed intelligence.

Sunday brought us the news that the ambitious wannabe “Immigration Czar” Kenneth Cuccinelli settled for replacing the current Director of United States Citizenship and Immigration Services, the hottest of hot seats in Trump’s revolving door administration, and that the president’s eldest son Donald Trump Jr reached an agreement with Republican Senator Richard Burr to testify before the Senate in June to explain his lies to that chamber the last time he testified under oath.

On Monday, while America celebrated Memorial Day to honor our fallen soldiers, Trump was saluting a Japanese General and wishing the Japanese military a happy Memorial Day, even though Japan does not celebrate Memorial Day and it was the Japanese military that killed an estimated 111,606 of the US soldiers that America was mourning that day.

We also learned on Monday the surprising fact that there is an “acceptable” amount of (!) rocket fuel chemicals in our drinking water, since that amount was (!!) increased by the (alleged) Environmental Protection Agency as part of the Regulation-Stripping Orgy that is the Trump Administration, with an emphasis on removing anything with the name “Obama” attached to it, no matter how sensible or beneficial. So if you’re feeling a little supersonic lately, chalk it up to your intake of high-velocity fuel chemicals.

The EPA also decided this week to claim America is not as polluted as we think by changing the standards of what is “acceptable” poisoning by a great many deadly chemicals and the industrial waste they recently decided was safe to pump into our water supplies, their figures running counter to scientific measurements, a futile exercise in moving the goal posts when you’re losing the game.

And speaking of opposition to safety regulations, Trump sponsor and unofficial 4th Branch of the US Government, the National Rifle Association, fiercely opposed a small piece (only one million dollars) of the Texas state budget that will create a Public Safety Program promoting the safe storage of guns, in essence wholeheartedly agreeing with the legislature that the safe storage of guns and ammunition will result in fewer gun deaths, which is bad for business. The more people that die from guns, the more the NRA gets to scare living people into buying more guns, coming as close to perpetual motion as any business model anywhere. The Texas legislature defied them and passed the budget with the gun safety program intact, so now the onus is on Governor Greg Abbot to sign the budget and risk losing his own campaign donations (bribes) from the NRA.

On Tuesday Trump returned home, and immediately began defending his abhorrent behavior in Japan by denying he had anything to do with blackballing the USS McCain and its sailors, claiming it was done by his (!) “well-meaning” staffers, as if participating in the smear campaign of a recently deceased national hero and the sailors who proudly wear his name on their caps could possibly be a benevolent gesture.

Then Trump excused himself for trashing our own people in another country and forming a political coalition with Kim Jong Un for the 2020 election with this explanation: “I was actually sticking up for Sleepy Joe Biden while on foreign soil. Kim Jong Un called him a “low IQ idiot,” and many other things, whereas I related the quote of Chairman Kim as a much softer ‘low IQ individual.’ Who could possibly be upset with that?” 

Who could possibly be upset by that, Mr President? Pretty much anyone not raised by hyenas.

Then came Wednesday, when the Sphinx surprised the country by speaking, as Robert Mueller finally broke his silence about the Mueller Report, basically telling Congress to do their jobs and take the action on his report that he was prevented from doing by Justice Department rules, going out of his way to tell the American people that his report did not exonerate the president from committing crimes and that Russian interference in our elections was still a clear and present danger.

Of course this prompted Trump to shriek even louder than usual about his innocence, and ramp up his demonization of Robert Mueller as “a conflicted Never-Trumper” guilty of treason for having the temerity to accept a difficult assignment and methodically performing his duty under hostile circumstances and within rigidly-defined rules of what he could and could not investigate and what he could and could not do as a result of his findings.

In his haste to to attack blindly, Trump actually admitted publicly that Russia helped get him elected, but (!!) “that’s not my fault,” ignoring his and his campaign’s legal obligations to report any instance of foreign interference (or any contact at all with a foreign government) to the FBI, just as previous presidential candidates Al Gore and George Bush had done when presented with similar circumstances. Then, realizing his mistake, he quickly denied what he just said, claiming he was the only one who got him elected, but that was one alarm bell he could not un-ring, and we have a sitting American President admitting that he is sitting in the Oval Office only thanks to Vladimir Putin, the President of Russia.

Mueller’s enigmatic call to action and Trump’s manic barrage of obfuscation produced more and more calls for impeachment from Democrats in Congress and even a few Republicans, and to really frost him, several members of his most reliable propaganda organization, Fox News, came out in in favor of impeachment proceedings.

Pretty much out of red herrings, Trump turned to his go-to distraction to end Week #124 on Thursday, Mexico (one of America’s biggest and most reliable trading partners), by imposing a 5% tariff on all Mexican goods unless the flow of immigrants through their border is stopped, to be increased in increments if refugees keep coming from troubled countries where Mexico has no authority. This insane attack on a crucial trading and manufacturing partner, and America’s food chain, sent world markets nose-diving once again as stock prices for major corporations plummeted and the certainty of higher food prices hit home. The Dow Jones industrial Average plunged 300 points immediately.

Trump had some help from his new fixer and Attorney General William Barr, who falsely claimed that the Department of Justice rules that prevented Robert Mueller from accusing the President of a crime were not real, in spite of everything he and other Attorneys General and Department of Justice personnel have been saying all along.

Then Barr went one step further, stating in a TV interview that “he could see no evidence that Trump was shredding institutions,” even as he presides over the Department of Justice, the institution he himself turned into a political retribution tool for Trump, investigating the investigators and attempting to pin Trump’s crimes on his political rivals.

Neither Barr nor Trump, however, were able to stuff all the worms back into the can as the nation gets sick of having a felonious, illegitimate, disloyal and crazy president as the voices of moderation are being drowned out by calls for Trump’s impeachment.

If it seems to you that anything that can possibly be wrong with a person is wrong with Trump (plus a couple of things that have never been wrong with anyone before), congratulations on refusing to explain away the obvious. Your senses aren’t lying and your brain works just fine, the news is not fake, words still mean what the dictionary says they mean, and this mean spirited asshole really is off his rocker, our very own homegrown Caligula, thankyouverymuch.

Unless you accept The Lindsey Graham Theory, that Trump’s crazy act is the most masterful piece of Performance Art since Vincent “The Bathrobe” Gigante fooled the FBI into thinking he was crazy while he methodically ran a murderous crime family right under their noses, then all that is left is knowing we have a genuinely batshit crazy President who will say and do anything, however absurdly false, however disloyal, however tasteless, however cruel, or however just plain stupid, dangerous, completely uninformed and petty.

Other than that, though…

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