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General Interest, Humor, Politics, Trump Week in Review

WEEK #112 OF THE TRUMP ERA IN REVIEW, FRIDAY, 3/1/19 TO THURSDAY, 3/7/19

Week #112 of the Trump Era had big shoes to fill if it wanted to match the chaotic insanity of the previous week. Matter of fact, Trump spent the first day of Week #112 furiously Tweeting about Week #111, a disaster for the president and our country by any measure. 

Except, of course, if you are measuring by the magic of Alternate Reality! After all, Trumplestiltskin’s specialty has always been spinning dusty straw into gold (just look at his hair up close, okay?), and his furious Tweet Storm on Friday was thick on revisionist history (lies) of stuff that happened just a few days ago, preserved on tape and broadcast all over the world.

Turns out that Present Donald J. Trump was more than up to the challenge, and dug deep inside himself to set new standards for Presidential Craycray (okay he’s only breaking his own records at this point, but still…), and his Friday tantrum was only a warmup for his jaw-dropping performance on Saturday night.

This was a week when we learned that Russian-American mobster and convicted felon turned real estate developer Felix Sater will soon testify before a Congressional committee, possibly about being in business with Trump on several real estate deals, or being the point man in the Trump Tower Moscow negotiations, the man with deep Kremlin connections and who secured Russian financing for the project.

The same Felix Sater who sent this email to Michael Cohen: “Buddy our boy can become president of the USA and we can engineer it. I will get all of Putins team to buy in on this. I will manage this process.”

The Felix Sater who met with Trump bagman Michael Cohen to deliver an urgent request from Russian billionaires (see above: financing for Trump Tower Moscow) to lift the sanctions against them, a request Trump gladly granted in return for the Presidency. 

We also heard once again from Rudy “How Is This Helping?” Giuliani, who revealed the potentially incriminating information that he and another of Trump’s three dozen defense attorneys, Jay Sekulow, entered into discussions with Russian Collusion suspects for Presidential Pardons. Just when you think they muzzled Old Rudy, he proves once again why he is the gift that keeps on giving.

Not only that, but we also leaned that two of Trump’s lawyers (including the aforementioned Sekulow) helped Michael Cohen craft the lies to Congress that wound up getting him sent to prison for 3 years. To prove that allegation, and many other claims that establish a pattern of criminal activity by Trump, Cohen showed up for his final appearance before Congress toting a full set of Samsonite luggage chock full of incriminating documents and recordings.

We were also treated to Trump blatantly promoting his golf course in Scotland (the best in the world!) and doing a promo for an upcoming Fox News interview with this daughter Ivanka, speaking of whom, would also make some news of her own, this time unrelated to her father’s smitten lust for her. Or, perhaps not.

The 800 Pound Gorilla Question about how in hell did Jared Kushner obtain a Security Clearance was answered when it was reported that Trump ordered his subordinates to grant him Top Secret clearance, and for Ivanka as well, over the strenuous objections of every security professional involved in the process, including his Chief of Staff John Kelly, who wrote an internal memo voicing his opposition to the clearances.

Imagine Trump’s chagrin when another Public Enemy journalist reported that Kushner not only advised Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman about how to get away with the murder of Washington Post reporter Jamal Khashoggi, but he blabbed classified information that could compromise America’s position in the Middle East to the murdering prince too. When Prince Bonesaw visited America, it was Kushner who personally arranged for his security, a severe breach of government protocol and a frightening thought that the shallow and vapid Jared Kushner has lethal security experts at his disposal.

It was a week where Trump hinted at his desire for a war with Iran, and had John Bolton threaten Cuba to back off in Venezuela (2 countries where Trump is not President), while saying nothing about violations of the Monroe Doctrine by China and Russia for meddling in Venezuela, a longtime ally and good neighbor going through a national trauma, as well as a vital source of high quality Major League baseball players.

If anyone was going to gain political capital at the expense of Venezuelan lives, it would be Trump himself, dammit, if what passes for his foreign policy towards Venezuela works out. If not, there’s plenty of blame to spread around to someone other than himself, unconcerned about the effects on Venezuelans of the international energy vultures smelling blood and circling their vast petroleum reserves.

As far as domestic policy towards Latin people, Trump’s Kiddie Koncentration Kamps were back in the news, this time for being a candy store for pedophiles, when thousands of sexual assaults on captive children were reported, and we found out that 471 parents were deported without their children, and no one thought to keep track of (how can this happen?) whose child is whose, or how they can possibly be reunited.

Defending all this before Congress was Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen, a robotic block of ice devoid of compassion or humanity, arguing over the definition of “cages” and defending the Trump Administration’s every blunder and act of cruelty. Ms. Nielsen is a living reminder that we have traumatized children locked in cages and being sexually assaulted, and that this is okay with this president and his cadre of coconspirators.

To be fair, Trump doesn’t care all that much about Americans either, or at least those not of the wealthy variety. This is a president who just repealed the rules about employers being required to report injuries and illnesses that occur in the workplace, the kind of “burdensome regulations” that save human lives, but cut into profits, and this callous act shows which of the two are prioritized.

And speaking of profits (and Trump’s Mad Dealmaking Skills applied to trade negotiations), America just recorded our highest trade deficit in history, not even counting the tens of billion Trump gave to farmers from the Federal Treasury to shut them up about how his spiteful trade war was killing them.

Like Trump is fond of saying; “you’re going to see numbers like no one has ever seen before!” What he didn’t say was that they would be in the Red Column and not the Black.

When Democrats decided to exclude Fox News from covering their debates for the 2020 presidential nomination, Trump threatened to retaliate with the empty threat to ban the major networks and CNN from his public appearances and future debates. The day will never come when Trump turns away a single camera or microphone and everyone knows this, just as everyone knows that Fox News has entered into a dangerous partnership with the President, blurring the lines between a free press and the executive branch of government.

Indeed, Sean Hannity and the 3 insufferable buffoons who host Fox & Friends are widely considered to be unofficial policy advisors to the president, and largely responsible for Trump’s decision to shut down the government for 35 days to punish the entire country for not giving Trump his useless border wall, reneging on his deal with Congress to sign the government funding bill without any money for a wall.

All of this, however, pales in comparison to Trump’s flag-humping, free-associating, bellowing and absolutely insane extravaganza on Saturday night when he rambled on for over 2 hours, making the longest speech ever by an American President, and also setting a record by telling over a lie a minute. He was addressing the Conservative Political Action Conference, a gathering that in pre-Trump years made it a point to never invite him to attend, but now stood and cheered as he called Robert Mueller a criminal and his team of prosectors “killers” (The same Robert Mueller who was the FBI Director for 12 years and boasts a 100% conviction rate. Yeah, that guy.) and even made up a crazy lie about one Special Counsel staffer “running the (sic) Hillary Clinton Foundation.”

Trump rambled, he lied prodigiously, he boasted, he lied some more, waxed nostalgic about the Electoral College, James Comey (“I fired a crooked cop!”) and his go-to bogeywoman Crooked Hillary, rambled aimlessly some more, then boasted about going “off-script,” conjuring up images of his speechwriters balled up in the fetal position in some corner, silently weeping and banging their heads against the floor. 

For good measure he brought back his favorite whipping boy, “Little Jeff Sessions,” even performing a stunningly insulting mockery of Sessions’ Southern accent. Then he whined endlessly about the people whose job it is to count crowd sizes, all of whom are obviously conspiring against him  because “I never have an empty seat.” That’s not even true of his own Cabinet, which has more people in acting roles than Game of Thrones.

He went out of his way to pause in his lavish praise of himself to praise (!) “big, beautiful machine guns” (no one knows why), and how his first impulse upon landing in Iraq was “to get out the cameras and let’s make a movie,” then, abruptly departing from his anecdotes about “my generals,” claimed both credit and absolution for the 2018 Midterms that cost him the House of Representatives and a free pass for all his (alleged) criminal acts. 

That same Democratic-led House just sent out 81 requests for documents to individuals and organizations relating to Trump’s alleged criminal activities, to be backed up by subpoenas if their requests are denied, as Trump is threatening to do.

There’s another guy besides Michael Cohen who worked closely with Trump who isn’t getting a free pass. Week #112 ended on Thursday when Trump’s Campaign Manager Paul Manafort was sentenced to 4 years in jail, and is scheduled to be sentenced for another conviction next week, as rumors of Mueller indictments against members of the Trump family fly, while Trump earnestly reminds us of his brainstorm to have a fireworks display on the 4th of July. Why didn’t we think of that?

At this point, if the President started demonstrating his prowess at making balloon animals during his next pubic appearance, would that be any stranger than our current reality?

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