We started to hear the gurgling sounds of a dying beast in Washington DC this week, its thrashing and bellowing giving way to defeated whimpers about pardons and exit strategies.

Week 23 began on Friday, July 14 with Trump and First Lady Melania celebrating Bastille Day in Paris with French First Couple and avid thumb wrestlers Emmanuel and Brigitte Macron. Shrugging off the irony of celebrating the day when the French started lopping off rich people’s heads, Trump headed home after the celebrations.

Or at least to one of his homes, this time his golf resort in New Jersey, which will earn his company a cool $3 million from Uncle Sam’s kick to keep the First Golfer safe. In one of those freak coincidences, the U.S. Women’s Golf Open just so happened to be hosted by this same Trump property that weekend, and the President’s 4-hour appearance there was another tidy bit of commerce for the Trump Organization (he’s still a part-timer at the firm, just doing his part).

Trump left New Jersey Sunday afternoon for the hostile environs of Washington DC, but not before spending Sunday morning on a classic Trump Twitter Binge, lying his ass off and lashing out viciously at everyone and everything that crossed his heated mind.

With almost daily fresh revelations about Russian collusion by the president’s team, his own family implicated in criminal activity and/or possible treason and his health care disaster blowing up in his face, the pressure is getting to Trump.

On Monday, the president who builds skyscrapers out of foreign steel and whose family makes exactly none of their products in America hosted a “Made In America Expo” at the White House, with Trump getting to wear a real cowboy hat and sit in the drivers seat of a big red fire engine just like a big boy.

On Tuesday Trump had lunch with Republican Senators and yelled at them to repeal health care even if there is no replacement health care bill, seeming to think he had the power to fire the ones who don’t vote his way. Four Republicans broke ranks and “repeal” is as dead as “replace.” After the Senate failed, Trump publicly pouted that he would “let Obamacare fail,” not mentioning how he quietly sabotages the ACA every chance he gets.

In an attempt to “humanize” President Trump that backfired badly, the White House authorized the release of Trump’s previously off-the-record conversations with reporters aboard Air Force One. The transcripts are the chaotic musings of a bizarre, dimwitted blowhard with an undisciplined mind that leave you scratching your head. In other words, presidential.

Perhaps in an effort to provide something more substantial (coherent), Trump granted an interview to the New York (Fake News!) Times, during which he threw his Attorney General under the bus, doubled down on the incoherent rambling, threatened to fire the man investigating him if he snooped into his finances (already a done deal), defended the indefensible, lied impossibly ridiculous lies and trotted out the usual scapegoats (#obamaclintoncomey).

When last heard from in Week 23, It is reported that Trump and his criminal defense lawyers are discussing little else in the White House but Presidential Pardons, even debating the legality of a Self Pardon. Not exactly a ringing endorsement of the strength of your case. The spokesperson for Trump’s legal Dream Team quit before anyone even knew there was such a person.

Oh, and Trump’s lawyers are hiring lawyers, and his son Donald Jr and former campaign manager Paul Manafort will be testifying before The Senate Intelligence Committee investigation in week #27 on live TV. Turns out the Trump Administration has better cliffhangers than The Apprentice ever had. Tune in next week; same time, same batshit crazy station.

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