Here at we’re all about the public service, and today we are not going to talk about the news or some horrifying event. Enough already! How about a list of things you don’t often hear in real life? Let’s try these:

What were Marcel Marceau’s last gestures?

The Force, it is strong in this one.

Anything interesting happening in Syria lately?

You know, Mildred, this Glen Beck fellow makes a lot of sense, and he’s one calm, level-headed son of a gun too!

That’s a lovely apron you’re wearing, Mrs. Cleaver.

Why, thank you, Eddie!

Mission accomplished.

Jared Laughner was a wonderful boy with just the sweetest face! Who knew?

I’m willing to sell my children’s civil liberties and my nation’s human rights to be safe from terrorism right now.

We don’t need to carry loaded weapons to Tea Party rallies to make our point, we’re articulate and persuasive!

Boy, these vegetables I bought in the supermarket taste like they’re right from the garden!

Who in heaven’s name is Snooki?

Discussing acting techniques on both small and large screens, today’s guest on Theater Talk will be: Charlie Sheen!

Look for the union label.

So, the question you gotta ask yourself is, am I feeling lucky today? Well, are you feeling lucky, punk?

Hey, the Middle East’s been kinda quiet, huh?

I like Ike.

I am the God of Hellfire!

Hope things change.

It says right there in the Gospels over and over and over that Christians must practice, peace, love, kindness and understanding, even when inconvenient.

Nuclear Power – Clean, safe, efficient!

Martha from Spokane, you’re on the air with Larry King!

Jay Leno would never stab anyone in the back!

Visit beautiful Port Au Prince, Haiti, Jewel of the Caribbean!

If you can’t trust your banker, who can you trust?

Blessed are the poor.

I wonder what a dress made of raw meat would look like?

Peace with honor.

This Yanks team looks like it could go all the way this year.

Boy, this American Idol winner is going to be a huge star!

Do you have a license for that monkey?

How can you really get to know a product from 60-second ads? Thank God for infomercials!

Osama bin Laden’s days are numbered!

Nothing says “give democracy a chance” like a tomahawk missile!

The Great Society.

Prosperity is right around the corner!

How do those Republicans come up with so many innovative ideas and fair, thoughtful solutions?

Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.

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