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General Interest, Humor

THINGS NOT TO DO WHEN SNOWBOUND

For a great many citizens of the northeastern parts of the United States, the past couple of days have found them snowbound by a vast blizzard. This was one those doozies where even snow ploughs are getting stuck in the drifts. Any thoughts of getting out and about are quashed with a quick peek out the window. So now you’re stuck in the house for a couple of days, wondering what to do with yourself, maybe thinking you can catch up on all those household chores you’ve been meaning to get around to.

Or not. You can shovel your sidewalk and dig out your car since that’s the reflexive thing to do, but this time you’re not going anywhere until the snow plows reach your street, hopefully before you miss too much work and everyone realizes that the place functions just fine without you and whatever it is you do all day long. So there’s that pressure to deal with. How to pass the time?

Well, we here at bobcrespo.com figure “to each, his own ” when it comes to dealing with cabin fever. Some prefer drinking themselves numb, others curl up with a good book and a cup of hot chocolate, some of us build snowmen with the little ones and then go inside for board games and jigsaw puzzles, while some people actually do catch up with their domestic chores (Go figure those nuts!). There are some housebound activities, however, we feel are important to avoid. Don’t go here:

Law & Order Marathons: At this point every American has seen every episode of Law & Order at least 5 times. Besides, Law & Order Marathons are reserved for bouts of insomnia and aggressive procrastination.

Home Remodeling: Who cares if you’ve got all the tools and materials handy? They’ve been there for months waiting for you to get off your ass, Christmas has come and gone, and now you want to make the house all dusty? Dream on, Bob The Builder, and go shovel the driveway!

Learn a New Language: Unless you live alone, no one wants to hear your endless mispronunciation of getting directions to the rest room in German.

Rearrange your closets: You just did that, digging out your boots, parkas, gloves, scarves and snow shovels. Get used to the wet newspapers, the clutter by the door and not being able to find anything until further notice.

Practice your “Flaming Batons” juggling act: This one is self-explanatory, with a double advisory for those with real Christmas trees, which by this time are generally a headline waiting to happen.

Fix the Fireplace: There’s nothing like a cozy fire to while away the snowbound hours with loved ones, but if you cannot remember the last time you actually used your fireplace, this is not an optimal time to find out whether or not your carbon monoxide detector is working.

Read or watch anything about The Donner Party: Nothing good can come of this.

Make life-altering decisions: You’re snowbound, and so not in your right mind. You’re covered in black soot, your head is spinning from Law & Order episodes, German lessons and visions of cannibalism. This is not the time to decide you really want to chuck it all and join the circus as a juggler.

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