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MY INTERVIEW WITH MICK JAGGER

Warhol JaggerThat living legend, Mick jagger, lead singer of The Rolling Stones and one half of the legendary song writing team Jagger/Richards has agreed to sit down with bobcrespo.com for an interview. Mick has taken time out of his busy touring and recording schedule to grant this interview and for that I’m grateful. Along with his band mates Keith Richards, Charlie Watts and Ron Wood, Mick and the Stones have recently set a world record for the highest grossing tour by a rock and roll band ever. This an an amazing feat considering that The Rolling Stones have been on the scene since the early 1960’s, somehow managing to do what no other band has done before; stay relevant and popular and continue to fill arenas all over the world for fifty years.

These guys have been around so long that their bass player Bill Wyman actually retired a few years ago, cashing in on the generous severance package provided by the most successful Rock & Roll band ever. Mr. Wyman, being several years older than the other band members, opted to take the pension and enjoy life, figuring he’s pushing 70 and if something’s going to kill him he’d rather it be trying to keep up with his teenaged wife than the rigors of touring. He’d already witnessed one of their original members, Brian Jones, die a young death and his replacement, guitarist Mick Taylor, leaving the band for fear of sharing Mr. Jones’ fate. Having beaten the long odds, Wyman cashed in rather than crapping out.

Still the Stones soldier on, making great music and defying the odds by not only staying alive but getting better and better as a live act. Keith Richards is a marvel of good genetics and astounding luck, the only possible explanations for his continued survival after a lifetime of hard, wild living. He even survived falling out of a palm tree onto his head recently and rejoined the tour to play some of his most electrifying shows in a decade. Bill Watts, perhaps one of the two or three greatest Rock & Roll drummers ever, is starting to resemble somebody’s Granny but he’s still out there laying down the muscular beat that has always driven Rolling Stones songs. Ron Wood, their other guitarist who has been with them for more than twenty years now seems to be in a constant duel onstage with Keith Richards, not only with their guitars but with which of them is the uglier man. This fan calls that one a toss-up.

Mick Jagger keeps himself in great shape and is a still the epitome of a Rock & Roll lead singer, a dancing, whirling dervish and a consummate entertainer. He’s all over the stage, dancing and interacting with the band and the audience and is still in fine voice. He arrived by limo at the offices of bobcrespo.com looking every inch the rock star, fit and tanned and dressed in a fire-engine red blazer, dungarees, sandals and a black t-shirt. He had a small entourage, a personal assistant who is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, and also a hairdresser and a make-up artist for the photographs they figured I’d be shooting, the second and third most beautiful women I’ve ever met. Damn! I knew I forgot something besides the refreshments. The batteries in my wife’s digital camera are dead and I forgot to recharge them. The beautiful assistants seemed awfully disappointed. Well, nothing to be done about that now, so I’ll just plow ahead with the interview.

BC: “Mr. Jagger, thank you for giving bobcrespo.com this interview. This should really put me on the map, er, I mean it’s an honor and a pleasure, sir.”

MJ: “Call me Mick, mate.”

BC: “Thanks, Mick Mate. You can call me Mr. Crespo. I’ve been a fan of yours since your first records and TV appearances in the early 60’s…”

MJ: “Showing your age, Mr. Crespo.”

BC: “Can I finish my intro here, pal? This is my first interview and I’m a little nervous…”

MJ: “You’re first interview?”

BC: “Yep, now can you do me a huge and keep your trap shut? I have this whole big intro written out.”

MJ: “Well, excyooose me!”

BC: “No problem, Mick. Well, here goes:  In his first ever interview with a major website, Mick Jagger of the Rolling Stones has come to the offices of bobcrespo.com for an exclusive one-on-one with Bob Crespo. Mick and the Stones have just completed a record-breaking world tour and are currently reviewing tapes of their shows for a possible live album to be released in time for Christmas. Word has it that the Stones are so musically rejuvenated from their tour that Mick and Keith are collaborating on a new batch of songs that could land them in the studio for another album of originals in the very near future….”

MJ: “Who told you that rot? We’re bloody exhausted after that tour. I’ve been lying around the Caribbean not doing much of any…”

BC: “Whoa, caviar-breath! I thought I asked you not to interrupt!

MJ: “But that’s all nonsense, mate. You’re making all this up!”

BC: “Hey, Mick, I’ve gotta tell my viewers something! It’s not like your big shot Rolling Stones Incorporated Office provided me with a fact sheet or anything…”

MJ: “What viewers? I thought this a web site and you write a blog?

BC: “Well, I’m taping this for a possible pod-cast. It’s not everyday that a Mick Jagger sits down and…”

MJ: “But there’s no camera here!”

BC: “Guess again, pal. See this computer? It’s an i-Mac and it has a video camera built right in. That’s why you’re sitting in that chair. Check it out!”

MJ: “But that mostly shows you!

BC: “What, you haven’t had enough publicity on your lifetime Mister Look-at-me-look-at-me-I’m-a-rock-star? Can’t a guy get a break here?”

MJ: “This wasn’t part of the deal, Bob! No broadcasts, or pod-casts or whatever it is that dinky James Bond spy camera does! You arranged for an interview and that’s all! No one prepared me for a telly broadcast! Now get on with your questions, will you, and forget your barmy introduction or I walk out right now!”

BC: “Okay, okay, no need to get so testy over here, Senor Sensitive. Alright then, here’s my question: Mick Jagger, let me get this straight, you say it’s only Rock & Roll but you like it?”

MJ: “What? That’s it? That’s your question?”

BC: “Should I repeat the question?”

MJ: “The answer’s yes, you bloody idiot, it’s only Rock & Roll but I like it! Next.”

BC: “Next what?”

MJ: “Next question, of course.”

BC: “But I don’t have any.”

MJ: “But that first one wasn’t even a proper question!”

BC: “Too personal?”

MJ: “You mean to tell me you don’t have any other questions you’d like to ask me? Nothing?”

BC: “Well, Mick, now that you mention it I probably should have prepared a few more. I figured you’re this big shot rock star with the exciting life and you’ll just pull out some fascinating anecdotes and stuff….”

MJ: “That’s not how interviews work, you bloody wanker! You ask me questions and I answer them. Got it?”

BC: “Hmmmm… Okay, here’s a good one: Mick Jagger, did you ever manage to get any Satisfaction?”

MJ: “Okay that does, it, I’m out of here! Come on, people, this was one royal waste of an afternoon.”

BC: “Hey, it’s my first interview, give me a break here…”

MJ: “Take your dot com and stick it, you jackass!”

BC: “This is Bob Crespo, live at bobcrespo.com, thanking Mick Jagger for visiting our offices for his first ever internet interview, an exclusive for bob crespo dot co……”

MJ: “This will not be broadcast or you’ll be hearing from my attorneys, and shut that stupid thing off! And what bloody offices are you talking about? This is your bloody living room! Who arranged this interview? Whoever it is is fired! Out on their arse! Out, you hear me…”

That went well. I suppose Mick is right in suggesting that I need to tighten up my interviewing techniques a drop, maybe even do a little preparation next time. Well, live and learn, eh? But not bad for my first interview ever. It’s not every day one gets visited by a superstar and his three beautiful assistants. I even have a photo of Mick and myself together that I managed to snap with the i-photo feature in the computer. Maybe I can do a little photo-shop retouching so he doesn’t look so pissed off at me, maybe make that fist he’s shaking at me look like a high-five. If not, no biggie. I still have many special memories to cherish for my whole life of the time I interviewed Mick Jagger of The Rolling Stones in my very own home, I mean rather, that is… the offices of bobcrespo.com.

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