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General Interest, Politics

NEW SUMMER FUN – TERROR CAMP! AMERICAN NEWSCASTERS WANT TO HELP.

So now we have this clown from Connecticut by way of Pakistan trying to kill people in Times Square with a car bomb. He learned bomb-making skills in a “Terror Camp” in Pakistan during a visit there, came back the United States and unsuccessfully tried to put his new knowledge to good use by murdering civilians on the streets of New York City. Unfortunately for him but fortunately for us, his instructors were not American newscasters, who expertly critiqued his failed attempt by pointing our where his car bomb went wrong and how to improve the killing performance of future attempted car bombings by any of his fellow Terror Camp graduates who want to give it a go.

Apparently Terror Camps, like recreational facilities the world over, are not all created equal, with this particular camp that the Times Square guy attended having a woefully inadequate Explosives Crafts Course. So, as a public service to the Jihad-minded, American newscasters are earnestly trying to help improve their future performance. It also serves the news industry well, since their livelihood is reporting the news, and a successful bombing with a whole lot of death and destruction is a far more compelling story than the botched attempt of a murderous but confused loser.

After all, the recent Times Square incident was practically a non-event once the initial is-it-or-isn’t-it drama gave way to the reality of an amateurish bungler screwing the whole thing up. Not a single reporter got to wax eloquent about the wholesale loss of life, interview any maimed mothers of three, or give the camera their best somber face as the cameras pan the vast urban carnage. Those things are career makers for news people, coming under the heading of Huge Events. Wars, assassinations and natural disasters are are also golden opportunities for media folks.

While they do whatever they can whenever they can to promote warfare and assassination, it’s impossible to instruct Mother Nature on how to properly stage an earthquake or volcano. Heck, you could turn 35 before another giant deadly tsunami happens, and by that time there’s no shortage of younger, better-looking media people to man the front lines of Incisive Aftermath Reporting (IAR) in their Land’s End duds and impeccably sculpted “messy” hairdos. You can’t really blame ambitious reporters with their Bio-clocks ticking away for trying to jump-start their Big Moment in The Media Sun.

Hence the detailed bomb-making instructions from the media, the one instance where the media can practically guarantee a meaty story. The policy here at Bob Crespo.com, a place notoriously short of actual policies, is to never, ever publish bomb-making instructions. You have to draw some lines in the sand, and not publishing bomb-making instructions seems a pretty minimal standard of civic responsibility. It seems that isn’t the case everywhere.

You have to wonder why they just don’t give out phony information, like suggesting the guy should have used a barrel of cheese, some silly putty, aluminum foil and a candle. You know, the old fool-the-bad-guys gambit. Maybe even mention duct tape, that always sounds reliably handy-dandy and MacGyver-ish. They don’t do that, though, since there’s no “angle” in it, no fear to be spread and exploited.

And then there’s the insecure desire of Big Media Stars to appear to know every friggin’ thing under the sun, and so keep their interns busy Googling the proper way to slay a whole bunch of pedestrians, and then they share their new bomb-making skills with other potential Times Square guys as if they were trained explosives instructors. “Don’t try this at home, kids!” Heh heh heh… Seems a bit odd on the face of it, but fear and disaster, or potential fear and disaster, is very good business.

Towards that end, the newspapers and TV Foaming Mouths are now wondering in bold headlines how many more Times Square loser guys are out there? Nothing like subliminal jihad recruitment, eh? Even this non-bombing can be a fear-spreading opportunity if reported properly. Now you have to follow this story for days to see if our demo-expert/newscasters have any solutions other than the bomb-making instructions. They usually do not, and so the story sort of goes away until some guy who paid close attention and took notes at newscasters’ instructions gets it right and kills a bunch of people. Then the media can say I Told You So, and launch many  lucrative Big Media Careers that day.

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