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General Interest

NOBODY CARES ABOUT STONE HENGE, AND OTHER NONSENSE

So now archaeologists have discovered an annex to Stonehenge, that mysterious circle of crude stone pillars on England’s Salisbury Plain. For years the place was considered some sort of altar for some long-forgotten religion, but now they’re leaning towards thinking of the place as a sort of sanctified burial ground, while the rest of the world is leaning towards not giving a crap one way or the next. We’re not exactly talking Taj Mahal here in the Matchless Beauty and Architecture Department, and could not care less where the giant stones were quarried and dragged or floated on barges, or flown on UFOs for that matter. The place is an inscrutable ruin and let’s leave it at that. Leave something to the imagination.

It’s sort of like the disappointment involving the Egyptian Pyramids. These unbelievably complex and gigantic structures were built only to be tombs for kings with outsized egos, forcing hundreds of thousands of their hapless subjects to spend their entire working lives preparing these palaces designed to transport their delusional asses to immortality among the Gods. What a friggin’ waste of talent and treasure! The smartest Egyptians were the enterprising tomb raiders who foiled the elaborate security systems of dead end tunnels and confusing mazes and removed all the gold and jewels from the crypts before these monstrous megalomaniacs’ gutted and mummified carcasses were cold. It would be better for us to wonder what these magnificent structures were for rather than know the ugly truth about Egyptian culture, such as it was. So anything we learn about Stonehenge is bound to be deflating and just plain dull.

People who are obsessed by arcane subjects need to realize that we all don’t share their fascination. Ask any stamp collector how it went when they tried to dazzle a non-stamp collector with the breadth of their knowledge about the exciting hobby of stamp collecting. “Not well” would be the answer to that one, and that’s a best-case scenario. And how about people who are “experts” on some culture that they are not a part of? They love to explain away the barbaric tendencies of some society or other as “cultural differences” to be respected and not judged. Yeah, sure, like the Mayans on top of their own pyramids tearing the hearts out of live human sarifices for the entertainment of the crowds. That’s a real beaut, eh? Oh, but you don’t understand their culture, you say? Well, screw that. Who cares about why they tore people’s hearts out or burned them alive? They did it and it was wrong and barbaric.

That’s the sort of thinking that leads to people apologizing for certain segments of Islamic society that force women into house arrest, dresses them in potato sacks and subjects them to death and torture for any number of perceived sins, like thinking for themselves or wishing to run their own damned lives. Or maybe chopping hands and heads off for minor crimes. That is wrong and barbaric and no amount of “cultural differences” nonsense excuses cruel and monstrous behavior towards fellow human beings. Who gives a rat’s ass what issues drove their twisted tormentors to enslave half their population or mutilate petty criminals? Whatever it is, it’s bullshit. That’s like saying that the Inquisitors of the Catholic Church in the 1400s and 1500s were driven by the love of Christ. Right, the Prince of Peace told them to burn people alive and torture them in every conceivable way. Gotcha. Could it just be that some people are cruel, evil and rotten murderous bastards and leave it at that? Who cares why?

Are we supposed the care that Chicago isn’t getting the Summer Olympics in 2016? What, does Chicago need the publicity? People are aware that there’s a Chicago and it’s a big, bold, exciting place. They’ll be fine over there without the headache of coming up with someplace to host the Synchronized Swimming Competition. Not that Rio needed the boost either, but it’s about time South America with its beautiful cities, climates and people got to host an Olympics. When the time comes to watch the 2016 games, most males on the planet will not care a lick about the games themselves, hoping for endless footage of Brazilian women in thongs. They further won’t care what anybody thinks of this desire, like it’s our fault that Brazilian women are so damned gorgeous and most Olympic sports so boring. Is there anyone alive who can remember who won the gold medal in the Equestrian events or the rowing competition in the Beijing Olympics? Of course not. Why would they?

And are we supposed to understand the unseen forces and the corporate pressure to increase profits that led to the financial collapse of 2008? Hell, no! We only need to realize that these businesses had been fabulously successful for many generations following a formula laid down a long time ago. The idea was to keep a careful eye on the nation’s money and be smart, cautious and law-abiding and you will prosper. The titans of the financial industry were asked only not to screw things up, that’s all. They were already fabulously wealthy performing the jobs that had been done steadily and unspectacularly by others for years and years. Who cares why they got greedy and larcenous? They did, and they all need to go away now for nearly dragging the nation that handed them their golden opportunities down into the gutter with them. Excuses are for children and drunks.

We’re also all supposed to be terribly concerned what sort of governments the nations of Iraq and Afghanistan will have once we decide to pull out our occupying armies from their real estate. Our armed forces completely annihilated both their armies in a matter of weeks and laid waste to a lot of their infrastructure years ago, and toppled both governments as well. They both now have corrupt and ineffectual puppet democracies doomed to fail the minute we vacate the premises. Unless we plan on going the Germany and Japan route, maintaining occupying armies on their soils for the past 64 years to sort of keep an eye out that they don’t return to their imperialistic and genocidal ways, those two nations will never become mini-Americas. Neither Iraq nor Afghanistan has any history at all (in their 5,000 years of existence apiece) of choosing their own leaders and don’t show a whole lot of interest in the process. In the grand scheme of things, who cares? Bottom line is, they have to live there, not us, and they’re welcome to both places.

As long as they’re not bothering anybody or harboring terrorists, no one’s going to lose any sleep over whether or not Jimmy Carter has to spend the rest of his life calling for free and fair elections in these godforsaken dust bowls. As things stand now our soldiers are wandering around aimlessly getting shot at or bombed by militants and insurgents while our big shot General in Afghanistan calls for more troops, with no opposing army to fight, only small guerilla bands that are willing to trade a life for a life as they whittle away at our soldiers. Unless this guy can pull Osama bin Laden out of his hat, then there is no reason to care about the fate of Afghanistan, the nation that gave him asylum while he plotted the 9/11 attacks. If they’re dumb enough to do it again, we can always pay them another visit and annihilate another Afghani army and topple another government, then leave quickly instead of pretending to give a rat’s ass about their civic arrangements. Maybe they’ll even set their women free someday. Well, that’s enough not caring for one day, eh? A fine day’s work.

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