The Federal government just handed down a new rule banning Federal employees from sending text messages while driving government vehicles, or their own vehicles if they are using a government-issued cell phone. Does that mean it’s okay to drive and text when using you own car and cell phone? Just the fact that a rule had to be made about typing messages while operating a motor vehicle speaks volumes about how dumb we are. Do we need rules for everything? Is there no room for common sense anymore? Why not a rule against performing gall bladder surgery while operating a motor vehicle? Or maybe banning driving and making pottery? This way we’re covered for even the dumbest among us.

Look at that guy who just tried to blackmail David Letterman. It seems that Letterman had sex with women who worked on his show. No shock there. Men and women have been known to get busy quite frequently, and rich guys usually get more than their share of female attention. So this guy figures he’ll embarrass Dave into forking over 2 million bucks to hide the fact that he made love to women. But instead of straight up blackmail, this idiotic TV producer takes a series of meetings with Letterman and his lawyer and threatens to sell his screenplay about these affairs to the highest bidder if Letterman doesn’t pony up the dough! Like it was a Hollywood movie-pitching session! The District Attorney’s office is exploring the possibility of adding an additional charge of Aggravated Assholery in the First Degree.

Here’s a jerk you’ve got to love, as in scratch your head and wonder what’s up with him love. His name is Captain Moussa Dadis Camara, the guy who took over the government of Guinea in Africa. He explained that he didn’t attend a political rally where his henchmen massacred 157 of his political opponents because he couldn’t find the keys to his pickup truck. It seems that he runs the country from an army tent since he doesn’t care for government buildings. So he’s explaining all this to international reporters as if he were describing missing the bus to work and his subordinates got a little rambunctious without the boss around. No big deal, really. Spirited lads. Then he invites the reporters to go to (!) nightclubs. He tells them “on my tab as chief of State,” then adding “I am incorruptible.” Guess he figured reporters are pretty corruptible and a night out on the town would earn him glowing press reports. Somehow this guy is in charge of a country.

Then you have all these people showing up at public rallies and getting all worked up about Heath Care. Not for it, mind you, but against it! Good thing there wasn’t legislation that needed to be passed for letting the sun shine on everyone. In a real throwback, or simply revealing their complete lack of imagination, they’re calling it some sort of Communist plot. Actually, they may have a point since in Communist Cuba there is universal health care, and has been for decades, very effective and available to all. The only problem with Cuba’s health care system is that it’s not really really expensive and confusing and treats everyone equally well regardless of their status in society, definitely not the American way. In the absence of a national nigger anymore except for gay people, and there’s not near enough of them to abuse on a grand scale, these protesters are reserving their right to be bigoted jerks.

These people figure that the 45 million Americans without health care coverage will have to suffice when it comes to their need to be better than somebody, anybody. Even though the public health care option will not affect their own health coverage at all or cost them a nickel in extra taxes, they figure that having a nigger around is essential for dumb people, and if they can’t call the president the name they use in private for him, someone’s got to play the part of the nigger (In the interest of full disclosure, this writer is white as Wonder Bread and has heard countless similar discouraging words about our president from these people). Sad sacks of crap that they are, some people are nothing without someone to hate, and if some of them are children with no health care coverage, well, they must have done something to deserve it.

But the best (worst) thing about these people crying about Socialism is that they tell the world that their private insurance companies can handle health care better than the government, when in fact private health care insurers are Socialist organizations collecting money from the government, to the tune of a hundred billion dollars a year, which means than the uninsured are paying for the insured people’s health coverage through their income taxes. Who’s the Socialist now, sucking from the public teat at the expense of the rest of the little piggies? And when it comes to providing health care efficiently, which organization is the most cost-effective in America? Bingo, it’s Medicare, that Socialist organization that has outperformed every private heath insurer with the lowest administration costs, only 2%, compared to 25% for private insurers. That’s how private insurers earn huge profits and pay astronomical executive salaries.  So, just how dumb are we?

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