WHY WOULD ANYBODY…

Why would anybody, governor, president or bus driver, apologize to anybody but his wife for having an affair? Are we a bunch of scolds all of a sudden, pointing shame-on-you fingers? The sex lives of others is none of our damned beeswax. Governors and presidents are dopes to play along with this infantile obsession and should tell nosy people to stay the hell out of their private business. They never seem to apologize for the stupid policies they implement and the dopey decisions they often make, so why do they feel they have to apologize for something that has no bearing on how they do their jobs and zero effect on the people they govern? Puzzling…

Why would anybody obsess over the manner of Michael Jackson’s death? The guy isn’t even cold yet and you have a cottage industry sprouting up wondering who was responsible for his drug use. Well, who else would that be? Us? And that whole bit about how society somehow failed him? Exactly what did we ever do to the guy? Listen to his records? Make him fabulously wealthy? Isn’t it his own business and his own responsibility how he ran his life? Who cares how he died? It’s a big loss and it’s sad, but certainly not something to convene an emergency session of Congress over. There hasn’t even been any autopsy results yet, so maybe we can let the poor guy rest and let his family deal with their pain with a little dignity. Oh wait, this is America, and we own our celebrities, dead or alive. Never mind…

Why would anyone who doesn’t live there think they can solve the problems in the Middle East? Even the best brains who do live there don’t have a clue. It’s an area most people in the world would consider uninhabitable filled with people who hate each other that the world would pretty much ignore if there wasn’t so much oil buried under the blazing sands in a lot of the countries there. You add the intertribal hatred to the insatiable greed for petroleum by the outside world and add a huge dash of tyrannical leaders wanting to be very, very important in the grand scheme of things and you have yourself a set of unsolvable problems. You’d think the Nobel Peace Prize committee would get tired of being burned and pass a rule barring the awarding of their prestigious prize to a bunch of clueless gas bags looking to earn Great Statesman points. Maybe the better deal in the Middle East is to let the people who have to live in that sweltering sandbox figure it out for themselves. They could do no worse. Or maybe they could, but it is their sandbox, and they are the ones who have to deal with any grand schemes made by dreamers. Better it should be home grown dreamers than carpetbaggers with ulterior motives who don’t give a rat’s ass about the actual people there or the quality of their lives.

Whether or not you believe in the threat of global warming, why would anybody oppose conservation measures and clean technology? Weren’t we always taught not to shit where we eat just because that’s the cleaner way to live? Why should we maintain a tidy planet only because of some dire threat? That’s like saying that if there is no possibility of global warming, well, pollute away! Poison the land and the waters and blacken the sky to our hearts’ content! Sorry, but our mothers raised us better than that. Let’s just clean up after ourselves because we’re supposed to and not ruin the playground for those who want to use it when we’re done. Imagine people treating your home like they do the world? It would be a long time before you invited them back, no? What’s right is right, and reason enough in itself to behave properly and be clean.

Why would anybody think it’s some sort of national tragedy that 3 million people were unprepared for the switch from analog to digital TV transmission? What, they didn’t have enough notice? Well, things change sometimes. How many of us are still sitting on huge music collections of vinyl records, cassettes and 8 track tapes? Nobody announced CDs, they just sort of happened. Now digital TV happened and that’s that. Your old TV antenna is a rotary phone now, a buggy whip. We all have to get with the program of cell phones, computers and all the rest of the doodads that are standard operating procedure in modern life. Or not. There’s always that option, one that works out just fine for the Amish. Life goes on…

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