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Humor

PROVERBS FOR HARD TIMES

Looks like the Second Great Depression might be here. The first one lasted a dozen years and America went through some very hard times, with as much as 25% unemployment and people crisscrossing the country in search of a day’s pay. Like now, the Great Depression was the result of greed at the top in the nation’s banks and stock markets. Somehow the nation pulled through, a little harder and a little wiser. People faced hardship with good humor and common sense. Here are a few proverbs and tips for the Second Great Depression:

Being poor really sucks.

When the wolf is at the door, try to kill it and eat it.

Rich people aren’t all that bad if you boil them long enough. 

When your neighbor gets a job, there is reason to hope. That means his house is left unguarded 8 hours a day.

Roofs are overrated.

The zoo won’t miss couple of goats and llamas.

Volunteer at a soup kitchen. They always feed the help.

At least we still have the most nuclear bombs.

Take good care of your pets. They may be dinner soon.

I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet. Now he has no coat either, the poor slow slob.

Before making a cooking fire with them, scrape the paint off the Foreclosure signs.

In God we trust. All others get the fish eye.

Well, the rat and pigeon problems seem to have cleared up. Wonder how cockroaches taste?

Empty houses are fair game.

When bankers speak about the rosy future, tell them to shut the hell up and wait their turn at the soup kitchen. 

Cherish your diplomas and keep them dry. You never know when you have to start a fire to cook or keep warm.

Don’t burn the flag. Good blankets are hard to come by.

This whole being poor deal isn’t all that noble after all. 

How many seals does the zoo really need?

Hold your head high and look your fellow man straight in the eye. No sense letting him get the drop on you.

It’s only dog food if a dog is eating it.

In these troubled times, ask a clergyman for guidance. Find out just how you can get in on that sweet racket.

Good times are just around the corner, but the rich guy who lives there has lots of armed guards and attack dogs protecting him.

Join the Army to serve your country and eat 3 times a day! Line forms to the left.

Those giant 4-wheel drive vehicles make pretty good bedrooms. If you put a few of them together, you’ve got yourself a home.

Everyone loves a jolly fat man. That means he’s got a stash of food somewhere.

Does the zoo really need a giraffe?

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. And unemployment, foreclosure, eviction, homelessness and starvation.

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