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Humor, Politics

IS THIS NECESSARY?

Reports from Hollywood indicate that Christian Bale will star in 3 more sequels to the movie “The Terminator.” Are any of us wondering how much more we need to know about killer robots? There’s already been 3 Terminator movies and a TV series spawned from this shallow pool of source material. Or is Mr. Bale going to make more cinematic history like he did portraying a comic book character who’s a billionaire that moonlights as a crime-fighting guy in a bat suit and cape? Move over, Citizen Kane!

Soon you’ll be able to connect to the internet on an airplane, just in case you’re one of those people the world cannot do without for a couple of hours. Like maybe if you’re a billionaire who moonlights as a bat-suited crime fighter and Gotham City needs your help yet again.

When did Groundhog Day become such a big deal outside of Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania? Is is such a fascinating ceremony that New York City had to copy it? It’s not like Punxzsutawney has all that much else going for it that the Big Apple had to steal their act. Serves Mayor Bloomberg right that the New York Groundhog bit him.

Did we have to find out that Vladimir Putin is a huge fan of the Swedish soft rock band ABBA? It’s going to be real hard to take his neo-Stalin act very seriously now. If it is revealed he wears Barney pajamas, it’s all over for him.

Do we have to marvel at the genius of using the wind for energy? Shouldn’t we just shut up about our incredible blunder of neglecting this ancient technology? Just pay the Dutch some royalties for dreaming up windmills and get on with it. And let’s not get crazy about the “invention” of tidal mills either, a technology as old as civilization.

Aren’t we being just a tad premature trying to place Barack Obama’s presidency in historical perspective. Outside of the obvious fact that he holds at least one unbreakable record, being the first African-American president, maybe we should give the guy more than a couple of weeks in office before we start sandblasting his face into Mount Rushmore. The comparisons to Lincoln are getting a little out of hand.

Where is it written in stone that we have to be anything other that a dissatisfied customer to Saudi Arabia? This is a nation that is the perennial poster boy for intolerance, tyranny and oppression, led by decadent princes in gowns who are so afraid of their women they imprison them in their homes and punish them when they are victims of sex crimes. They also hold public beheadings and amputations as a form of popular entertainment. What makes them a valued ally? It’s surely not the scenic wonders of a vacation in this giant sandbox.

Is there an end in sight to the ongoing deification of Bruce Springsteen? Not since Bob Hope has a performer wrung more praise out of less talent. A serviceable rock star with a wicked case of permanent laryngitis, he’s not exactly Van Morrison in the singing department. A decent enough guy, it seems, but not Rock God material. Then again, he is from New Jersey, so perhaps he is to be forgiven for mistaking himself for the real thing.

Is it necessary for the public to monitor Oprah Winfrey’s weight? Most people can tell at a glance who’s fat and who’s not. And surely Ms. Winfrey knows that when her TV crew whips out the wide-angle lenses for their cameras that she’s crossed the Mendoza line. No need to stop the presses to give us updates on what is none of our damned business. Her weight is about as newsworthy as another purchase/adoption of a baby of by Angelina Jolie in her quest to break Mia Farrow’s record.

Do we need to know that Larry King has a 9-year old son? And is there any way to get the kid out of that house and into Angelina’s family?

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