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Humor

I COULD BE WRONG…

Some things you read in the paper or see on the tube just sort of jump out at you. So you react, you form an opinion. I do it all the time. Some things leave an impression. And of course I could be wrong about a lot of things. I'm no genius, just a working guy trying to muddle my way through, but odds are I'm right about some stuff. Like they say, even a broken clock is right twice a day, and I'll settle for twice a day. Here's some quick impressions from recent weeks:

I could be wrong, but the wealthy young Republicans prancing around their recent convention resemble nothing so much as nineteenth century royal court weenies, minus the swords, the powdered wigs and the sense of honor. More the "Let them eat cake" variety.

I could be wrong but some of the older Republicans resemble Nazis without the fancy duds. They've even got their own Minister of Propaganda, Bill O'Really? the TV comedian, who'd look right at home in full SS uniform. Nelson Rockefeller, Jacob Javits, Richard Nixon, George Romney, Dwight Eisenhower, Everett Dirkson or John Foster Dulles could never be accepted by this new Republican fascist theocracy.

I'm not an engineer but it seems the situation in New Orleans looked pretty dicey for a storm that missed the city by a hundred miles. Looking at the footage of some of the levees spilling over, you sort of say of yourself they need thicker, higher walls to keep the ocean out. Much higher. Either that or start calling it "The Venice of the South" and hire some gondoliers.

I could be wrong but when Sarah Palin stated about certain people she figured were bent on destroying America that "reading them their rights" was not a priority she was not referring to wealthy white people who steal from their own companies and the Federal Treasury and ship your jobs overseas. Just a hunch. I mean, a lot of those people were in the audience cheering.

I could be overreacting, but maybe some of the Freddy Mac and Fanny Mae mortgage guys who lied to the government about the amount of capital they had should be read their rights. It's costing you and I billions and billions of our tax dollars. Seems like that calls for more than getting fired and collecting many millions in your Golden Parachute severance package. At least a swift kick in the ass on the way out the door.

Maybe I'm off base here, but it seems like Shotgun Dick Cheney shouldn't be guaranteeing anything to anybody in The Republic of Georgia. That would be the President's and the Congress' call, no? Aren't Vice Presidents supposed to just shoot guys in the face on hunting trips and leave the governing and policy-making to the people legally allowed to do so? Or maybe he figures with just a few months to go he's not even bothering to hide the fact that he's always been the real boss in this administration.

Maybe I'm wrong, but as a lifelong Yankee fan I don't really have any complaint with them having an off-year this season. I hate to hear Yankee fans crying like life as we know it is over because for the first time in 14 years they won't make the playoffs. How many other baseball teams have given their fans 39 Pennants and 26 Championships? Zero. The runner up, the St. Louis Cardinals, has 17 Pennants and 10 World Series titles. The Yankees have given their fans enough great baseball, thrills, drama and memories for 10 baseball teams. Eight years without a title? Tell that to Cubs fan, 99 years and counting. Stop whining and hope for next year like other team's fans.

Maybe I'm wrong but I think that peace in the Middle East is not attainable by anybody but the people who actually live in that godforsaken dust bowl. People who are pigheaded enough to live in a sweltering sandbox earnestly hating their neighbors are pretty immune to the rest of the world telling them to make nice. Anybody who would send their children on suicide/murder missions or lob artillery shells and rockets at residential neighborhoods are not what you might call enlightened and nobody you'd want to vouch for in any negotiations. If it wasn't for petroleum they'd be Darfur and Rwanda, primitive tribal backwaters unable to control their murderous hatred. Which is what they are, even with the oil, and can't claim otherwise until they prove it. When your heart is so poisoned, money changes nothing but the kind of house you live in. Let them figure it out on their own and get back to us.

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