Has Donald Trump ever had a private thought?

Other than during the Olympics, is Synchronized Swimming performed anywhere for any reason?

Why is Tiger Woods called a great athlete when he plays golf? Doesn't it stand to reason that a guy in excellent shape would be very good at a game that even fat guys can play pretty well?

Isn't asking a general if the war should end sort of like asking a barber if you need a haircut? It's not like the answer will come as a surprise.

Did I miss the huge public outcry to return Kathie Lee Gifford to television?

Is anybody shocked by the fact that now that we have relocated all our factories to the Orient the prices are going up? Other than dumb guys, that is. It's not like we can refuse them and say: "Oh yeah? We'll make it ourselves!" What with our having very few factories or people trained in actually making anything more complicated that cheeseburgers. we're kind of stuck now, aren't we? Which leads to another question: Why do do the big shot business executives who made the decisions to sell entire industries to foreign countries make so much money? And another: How dumb are we to pay them millions and millions to ruin our economy?

What exactly is the difference between a model and a super-model? They have any special powers we should know about? I mean, with her temper, you'd hate to think that Naomi Campbell was more powerful that a locomotive.

Isn't one more reason to be thankful you're an American is that Pat Robertson doesn't get to have his own militia?

Is there a clearer sign that the whole idea of America is in danger than seeing Congress grant Homeland Security boss Michael Chertoff the power to break any laws he sees fit in order to build the Berlin Wall on the Mexican border?

Did the U.S. Marines forget how to protect diplomats like they've done for a couple of hundred years? It would seem so since the Federal Government just renewed the contract of the Blackwater Mercenary Corporation to do that job over in Iraq. I thought it was Blackwater's job to torture POWs and shoot up the streets of Baghdad like they were in Dodge City. Live and learn.

You think all the money Iran is spending on 6,000 centrifuges to make fissionable material for their "peacefiul" nuclear program has cut into the clothing budget of their president Mahmoud Ahmadinijad? He's still wearing the same leisure suit and has yet to be able to afford a necktie. One wonders if all the government Imams over there have to make do with last year's dresses and turbans.

What ever happened to Roebuck? Nobody at Sears will say. Is it too on to convene a grand jury?

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