Week #127 of the Trump Era is one of those weeks where you tell yourself, “it’s only been 2-1/2 years now, it only seems like 20 years.”

Let’s just say that time isn’t flying with Trump as President, since regular time simply cannot contain all the insanity, incompetence and destruction that is Trump’s America. And so the days crawl, linger and overstay their welcome in order to cram in all the bad news. 

Now this bloated freakazoid of a President is threatening war with Iran because they shot down an unmanned drone they alleged was spying on them, a week after blaming Iran for attacking freighter ships with mines, even though the ships had holes in them well above the waterline, an impossibility with sea mines. The Trump Administration swears on a stack of comic books they have photos and solid proof that Iran is the culprit, but refuses to show it to anyone. 

Who do we believe in this Pinocchiocracy? Certainly not President Trump, who lies just for practice, or his bloodthirsty National Security Advisor John Bolton, or the sycophantic Secretary of State Mike Pompeo. 

Not that Iran’s oppressive Theocracy has been a fountain of truth either, but Trump is the one who suddenly insisted they live up to a treaty he shredded himself last year, and Trump is the one who has been taunting and baiting Iran with economic sanctions the rest of the civilized world mostly ignores as the petulant preening of a man (sort of, anyway) who desperately needs attention and covets respect he has not earned.

Speaking of a lack of respect for Trump, he added to the myriad reasons why he is not respected on Friday when he tried to dance his way out of his admission that he is wide open to foreign interference in our elections once again when he added “but yes, of course I will inform the FBI” after vehemently denying he would ever call the FBI (except to fire somebody) if a foreign operative offered him information on his political rivals, once again trying to unring the bell he keeps ringing like Quasimodo on steroids. 

Too late, President Pinocchio, not even your own military trusts you, as we found out when The New York Times reported that the Pentagon has been quietly attacking Russia’s power grid in retaliation for their interference in the 2016 election that landed them the worst boss imaginable. Trump went ballistic at The Times, accusing them of treason and spreading false information.

Turns out the information was solid, and a warning from our military to Russia to back off from sabotaging our next election or suffer serious sabotage to their power infrastructure via cyberattack, but the military did not trust our President with the information for fear that the President of the United States would report their work to the Kremlin. That bears repeating: The American military is convinced that the American President may be working with the Russian government to undermine America and is not to be trusted.

And speaking of undermining America, Trump decided to bully NASA, which is not only our space exploration arm but an incredibly accurate (and life-saving) high-tech recorder of climate, weather and meteorological data, when the president accused NASA of being  “part of the nonsense,” that “nonsense” being their observed confirmation of the man-made global warming that 99% of the world’s scientists have been warning us about for decades.

Global Warming, however, does not fit into Trump’s desired reality, nor does taking advice from experts in the field. Make that any field of human endeavor, not just climate science. So averse is Trump to admitting he does not know everything there is to know, he decided to cut by one third the Advisory Committees for every Federal Agency, since everyone knows professional advisors are notorious for telling the truth to those who seek their advice, which sounds proper and normal, but these are not proper and normal times, but an era of delusion and obfuscation. 

On Saturday the President (what else?) played golf and spent the rest of the day sending insane Tweets, for some reason renewing his feud with Sadiq Khan, the Mayor of London, saying he needs to be replaced (Trump needs to leave the foreign election meddling to the Russian professionals, who are far more effective), boasting that he has the best economy ever (he does not), then threatening that his great economy will crash if he is not reelected in 2020, and once again attacking the messengers when he called any polls that did not favor him “fake news.”

For one who is obsessed with ratings, both the TV kind and the political kind, Sunday was not a banner day for President Trump. He fired 3 out of 5 of the polling organizations employed by his reelection campaign for telling him the truth (who do they think they are, anyhow, Advisory Panels?) about him trailing Joe Biden by a mile and Any Democrat by almost as much. Even his beloved Fox News reported their own polls putting him a distant second to anyone with a pulse.

And yes, Trump’s imbecilic and insane Twitter marathons are something else that have become normalized in these abnormal times, but at this point they are almost reassuring in that we know where he is and what he’s doing, and that the filter between his brain and mouth is still not functioning, so at least we know where we stand. Okay that’s not reassuring at all, but at least it is valuable misinformation.

Sunday was also the day that his TV ratings betrayed him when his big Network TV interview with George Stephanopoulos lost in the ratings to 2 out of 3 of the other major networks, meaning that most Americans missed out on some juicy bits of fallacious insanity, such as Trump declaring he is being treated (!) “worse than Lincoln” (worse than being shot in the head?), that his supporters are “demanding” he serve more than 2 terms in office (unconstitutional), showing envy over certain foreign presidents and dictators declaring themselves “President for Life,” how he did not fire Special Counsel Robert Mueller because “firings did not work out so well for Nixon” (ya think?) and the the US Constitution allows him to “do anything I want,” (if that were true there would be no need for a Constitution). 

He also claimed that Iranians no longer shout “Death To America” since he became President, since (!!!) they love him now instead of their own leaders.  In reality, that’s still their go-to chant, more than ever since Trump began threatening their nation on a regular basis, breaking the treaty with them and leveling economic sanctions on their nation.

On Monday Trump ordered another 1,000 soldiers to the Middle East to counter Iran’s alleged aggression and their declaration that they will no longer live up to the Iran Nuclear Treaty’s limit on fissionable material, as Mike Pompeo doubled down on his accusation against Iran attacking the shipping (again minus any proof at all) and even hinted Iran was behind the deaths of 4 US soldiers in (!) Afghanistan, an attack for which the local Afghani Taliban claimed credit.

Also that day, China’s President Xi moved in on Trump’s new BFF, Kim Jong Un, when he announced his upcoming State Visit to North Korea, ahead of a planned meeting with Trump at an international trade conference. So much for Trump’s declaration that “we fell in love” about Kim, and his assertion that China was losing power and influence in Asia because of his trade war with them, lowering Trump’s batting average in the region to “0 for Asia.”

And speaking of foreign countries acting like real entities unto themselves and not the American Vassals Trump considers them, he lashed out at the European Union on Tuesday, complaining that the value of their currency was “very unfair to the USA,” perhaps out of a lifelong habit of hating to see other people doing well, since that means that anything they have means there is less for him to have, a decadent billionaire who lives in a gold castle in the sky and whose only goal is “more.” 

And speaking of “more,” Trump vowed to begin “deporting millions next week, turning them away as soon as they cross the border,” an impossibility for which we lack the means and infrastructure to implement, and an illegal act prohibited by our Constitution. 

Later that day, Trump’s Acting Secretary of Defense Patrick Shanahan resigned over domestic violence issues that another Administration would have discovered well before hiring the man, but as we have seen, vetting personnel assigned to sensitive and powerful positions has never been a hallmark of the Trump Administration (see: Michaeal Flynn, Jared, Ivanka, Scott Pruitt, Rob Porter, Tom Price, Sebastian Gorka, Kirstjen Nielsen, Ryan Zinke and a host of others who have spun through White House revolving door, as well as the dozen Acting Cabinet Secretaries and the 271 unfilled leadership positions.)

And Tuesday was so much supposed to be a Banner Day for Trump, when he officially kicked off the reelection campaign he announced at his inauguration and has been conducting throughout his presidency. He picked, fittingly enough, the home of our most famous fantasy purveyor, Disney World. Orlando, Florida got the honors for his announcement rally (which hopefully got paid up front since there are 10 American cities still waiting for the Trump campaign to pay their bills from his previous MAGA rallies). He promoted his rally for weeks, lying about “100,000 requests” to fill the 20,000-seat Amway Center. 

While he pretty much filled the arena with his motley collection of Deplorables and low-information weirdos, there were still hundreds of empty seats, and the “50,000 people watching on big screens outside the arena” were a myth, as news footage showed a garbage-strewn lot with just a few stragglers sort of milling around, chugging beer and chanting “MAGA” to anyone who would listen.

Inside the arena, however, Trump was in his element, savoring the only part of being president that he enjoys, being adored by the easily-impressed, the semi-literate, the racists, the imbeciles and the very confused political neophytes who think this dog and pony show is how government works. Trump did not disappoint them, lying his way through the entire rally, claiming (!) “nobody’s been tougher on Russia than me,” taking credit for a law Obama signed in 2012, claiming that Democrats made up the sexual allegations against Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh (from 30 years ago, showing either an incredibly prescient conspiracy against a drunkard college student who might be nominated for the Supreme Court someday, or a crazy lie lapped up by the incredibly gullible), still claiming to be “a political outsider” (he’s the President of the United States, the ultimate insider), claiming his wall is being built when it is not, demonizing Latinos, demonizing Democrats and branding those Americans who do not support him as “haters and losers,” while addressing an arena full of people who best fit that description. The biggest “losers” on Tuesday were fact checkers, who found no facts in Trump’s speech to check.

On Wednesday Trump’s former Personal Assistant Hope Hicks testified before the House Intelligence Committee, after Trump declared that Ms. Hicks had “absolute immunity,” a term that exists nowhere in the U.S. Constitution, the American political lexicon or any law book.  Ms. Hicks refused to answer 155 questions, but did admit telling lies at Trump’s behest, but only “little white lies” that were “not about anything of great importance.” One supposes there are different grades of lies in this administration and, as far as we can tell, all of them are permissible, if not mandatory, and Hope Hicks deserves high praise for taking the high road by only telling “small lies.”

Then Thursday morning the defecation hit the ventilation device when our surveillance drone was shot down by the Iranian military, with Trump for once citing “scientific proof” that the drone was flying in International Waters, and “not just words,” a tacit admission of his usual practice of saying random words he makes up on the spot, then swearing by them and calling it the truth. Once again, as with the attack on the freighter ships, no proof was forthcoming, but Trump surprised everyone by tempering his words, saying the attack was probably not sanctioned by the Iranian government but the work of an overzealous military commander acting outside his authority. 

Then of course he rambled on about how he “rebuilt our military” (already the most formidable on Earth before his election) and we were ready for action (“We’re cocked and loaded!”), and what a dangerous rogue state was Iran and their “crazy mullahs,” pretty much quoting verbatim from Iran’s regional rival Saudi Arabia, the country that Congress denied Trump the right to sell them advanced weaponry that day, a law Trump says he will veto. It seems that President Bone Spurs and Prince Bone Saw have a lot in common, a desire to contain Iran, and to reap the huge profits for both countries’ wealthy elite that war always provides.

The week ended with Trump almost starting World War 3 on Thursday evening, when he ordered an air strike on Iran but rescinded the order 10 minutes before it was scheduled, deciding that the estimated deaths of 150 Iranians from the planned airstrike was “not commensurate retribution” for the loss of an unmanned drone. He immediately cancelled out any thoughts we might have of him growing wiser in the job when he remarked that Iran was lucky the drone “didn’t have a man or a woman in it, which would have changed everything.”

No word yet of which unfortunate White House aide was assigned the task of  explaining the concept of drones to Trump, especially the “unmanned” part. 

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