turquoise toasterBefore toast, we had bread, sharp sticks and open flame. Breakfast was an adventure, and fatal bread fires were common. Enter the toaster, the greatest advance in civilization since the advance that made toasters necessary, sliced bread, compelling us to celebrate


Today is actually the anniversary of Melba Toast, specifically, named after Australian opera diva Nellie Melba from the Gilded Age, but who eats that crap more than once a year at some lame reception?

To most of us, toast is what we make every day and slather with butter and jam or make a sandwich; whole wheat, rye, white, pumpernickel or oat bread. No matter which one is your favorite, all of them taste better toasted, and that’s that.

And for a top-of-the-line toast treat, there’s French Toast, which is technically neither French nor toast, but an essential part of any diet. Who hasn’t owned at least a dozen toasters? Having a lousy toaster is a serious quality of life issue, and the more reliable your toaster, the better is your life. It’s just that simple.

• Suggested Activities: Making sure no one’s moved the dial from orange to dark brown.

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