Eight billion, that’s an 8 with 9 zeroes behind it; 8,000,000,000. On November 15, 2022, world population reached that number, so the United Nations decreed that we celebrate
INTERNATIONAL DAY OF EIGHT BILLION!
The 8 billionth customer didn’t win any valuable prizes, but that’s the UN for you, all fact-finding committees and non-binding resolutions, but no prizes.
In keeping with the finest United Nations tradition, the man who proposed this day has the difficult-to-pronounce name Babatunde Osotimehin, director of the United Nations Population Fund, who urged the world to perform 7 Billion Actions to make the world a better place back in 2011, when we reached 7 billion Earthlings.
No word of any such ambitious endeavors by his Tanzanian successor, Dr. Natalia Kanem, who could do worse than distributing 8 billion free condoms, but there’s really no traditional way to observe the Day of 8 Billion, what with it being just a year old and all.
Presumably, not killing anyone today would be a positive action, as well as feeding the hungry, treating the sick, sanitizing water supplies, teaching birth control methods and promoting tolerance and understanding. World Peace would be a nice gesture too.
We’d better get busy, because we have just a few years until we reach the Day of Nine Billion, and we need to tidy up the joint for all the newbies.
•Suggested Activities: Investing in baby food.