Here’s an underwhelming holiday for the Dog Days:
NATIONAL RELAXATION DAY!
It’s the Ides of August and Summer is starting to get on our nerves big time.
Blank stares and lethargic gestures are all we can manage before sundown, and we’re subsisting on takeout slop, Cheetos and Dr. Pepper.
Remember those ambitious plans we made to go here and do that this summer, and to tackle all those big jobs around the house? What were we thinking? It’s a friggin’ cauldron out there, and we had visions of frenzied gyrations in the sun? Not gonna happen.
Chill Pill O’Clock is what time it is, and we embrace this holiday with an imperceptible nod and another gulp of chilled Sangria. You’ve been moving like an arthritic sloth for weeks anyway, but at least today you don’t have to feel guilty about it.
Let’s not give a rousing cheer for National Relaxation Day. Get unbusy.
*Suggested Activities: Blinking, if you must.