Who’s from Earth? A show of hands, please. Good, it’s almost unanimous, so let’s have a round of applause for
INTERNATIONAL EARTH DAY!
At 4.5 billion years old, the planet doesn’t look a day over 3.8 billion, and is home to more and more of us every year, 8 billion and change, so don’t hesitate to do something special for your home planet on its birthday.
So, how exactly do we celebrate Earth Day? Who knows? Everyone seems to have their own slant on the day, but here at bobcrespo.com we go traditional, utilizing the extraordinary gifts Mother Earth has provided.
Twin Flaming Oil Pots will be burning outside Bobcrespo.com HQ all day, then a ride aboard the coal-powered Bobcrespo.com Float in the Humvee Parade on our way to to the Great Bonfire, where half an acre of prime Northern Spruce will light up our love of this planet.
Following will be a banquet of rare species dishes and sautéd medallions of baby seal served on styrofoam plates. Tomorrow we’ll dig a giant hole, bury all the rubbish from the party and let Birthday Boy figure out how to turn it all into petroleum again.
•Suggested Activities: Pave Paradise, put up a parking lot.