Who says they don’t get any holidays? Hell, they even have their own logo, just like the crosses, stars and crescents symbolizing other religions. Today our most fervent preachers and avid seekers of converts get their only holiday all year, one that most of them will spend furiously not celebrating,
NATIONAL ATHEIST DAY!
Steadfast believers in disbelief, adherents of non-adherence and practitioners of non-practice, Atheism is one of America’s fastest growing religions.
Though their faith boasts the exact same amount of proof as every other religion (zip), Atheists are among our most vocal and active evangelists, challenging traditional religions at every opportunity and talking the ears off acres of corn in an effort to expand their congregation.
Most Atheists are former members of other religions who, having grown dissatisfied with rigid dogma and suspect origins, have finally found a faith that affords them comfort and spiritual sustenance in an uncertain world. The beauty of Atheism (besides Sundays off) is that they are all priests, licensed to debunk other religions at every opportunity and promote their own Humanist creed.
Science is their God and God is their Devil, but the concept is the same; strict adherence, zero tolerance for doubt, plus the standard claim of superior intellect and greater moral worth than lesser mortals. Here’s wishing a Happy Atheist Day to our brothers and sisters of the Faithless Faith. May the Lord not be with them.
•Suggested Activities: Giving all praise to Athe, God of Atheism