No, you don’t eat it. The last thing you want to do is eat that stuff. Nothing so dense and heavy can possibly be classified as food. If you notice, it’s 2 days after Christmas and no one’s even unwrapped it yet, not even on
NATIONAL FRUIT CAKE DAY!
Today is the day you decide where to store the fruit cake, because next year it will be your turn to give it to somebody else for Christmas.
The baking of Christmas Fruitcake dates back to Merry Olde England, a nation where none of the native food tastes any good, and olden times were no different.
The King of England decided to marry a French Princess to forge an alliance with their ancient enemy, and the Royal Bakers were ordered to make something that “looked French” as a Christmas reception for his bride-to-be.
Turns out fruitcake was the best they could do, and of course the dinner was a complete disaster that not only put the kibosh on the betrothal, but started the Hundred Years War between England and France.
Left holding the bag with 100 fruit cakes the size and weight of cobblestones, the King of England decreed they be wrapped and sent as Christmas gifts to his least loyal subjects. For all we know, your fruitcake could be one of those original 100 loaves, so maybe a side trip to “Antiques Road Show” may be in order. You never know with fruit cake. Just don’t eat any.
•Suggested Activities: Keeping your distance.