Let’s pretend this is not a daily observance for so many and humor the rest of us on
INTERNATIONAL BEER DAY!
Lagers, Pilsners, Ales or Stouts, we’re celebrating beer today, the oldest human beverage other than milk, dating back to at least 9500 BCE.
Mesopotamians brewed it, Egyptians loved it too (explains the wacky hieroglyphics, no?), while it took Germans to turn beer making into a maniacal obsession. Not to be outdone, soon other Western Democracies were bristling with micro-breweries to keep pace with beer technology.
To learn more, tune in on Super Bowl Sunday for the latest scientific beer advancements. For a drink that pretty much all tastes the same after 2 or 3 cold ones, there are entirely too many choices of beer available today, literally thousands. And that’s just Samuel Adams.
Deciding on what beer to drink has become a complex social dilemma to hipsters nationwide, torn between Honeywheat Ale, Blueberry Brew Light or Cherry Lager. The answer to that one is: “Drop dead, you simpering imbecile, pour me a pint of whatever’s on tap and hold the fruit!” Here’s to Beersters everywhere!

• Suggested Activities: Asking someone to hold your beer while you do something incredibly stupid.