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National Days

TODAY’S NATIONAL DAY, 6/7/20 – DANIEL BOONE DAY!

cartoon1.What is least understood about Daniel Boone is that he didn’t like people. He liked chopping wood, hunting game, growing corn and, most of all, being left alone, something we still won’t do for him on

NATIONAL DANIEL BOONE DAY!

There was a reason the man was a world famous explorer and trailblazer; people got on his nerves. Early in life he got sick of civilization and moved deep into the woods, where he liked to kill animals and carve his name on trees.

Trouble is, people followed his trail and moved in next door, so he moved to another isolated paradise for some peace and quiet, and the sonsabitches showed up there too, and before he could misspell “bear” again, there was a Baskin Robbins, a Walgreens, 3 Starbucks and a mayor and town council who decided to name the place Boonesborough or Boonetown, building ugly piles of bricks and uglier laws, so he’d move west yet again and build another log cabin in the middle of nowhere.

Didn’t help. The nosy bastards followed Boone wherever he went, and that continued until he died at age 85 while packing for another trip west, this time to get away from a fussy daughter and son-in-law. Is it any wonder that his favorite memories are of the time he was adopted by the Shawnee tribe for 6 months, going by the name of Sheltowee, which means Big Turtle? Nobody followed him then, and he walked the ancient woods of North America to his heart’s content before returning to his stunned family, who had moved back to civilization when they thought Nature Boy was dead. Daniel Boone is perhaps the most misunderstood of American heroes. The man was a misanthrope. He didn’t like us. He really didn’t like us.

•Suggested Activities: Keeping your distance.

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