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National Days


Okay, so February 29 only comes once every 4 years, but until you drop dead with enough good deeds to your credit to earn yourself a regular holiday, today is your National Day, so make the most of


I call it National Bob Day, and get to Mini Bobmake all sorts of declarations and invent my own observance rituals. The traditional National Bob Day meal is microwaved leftovers, and usual activities include singing real loud in the car, buying Scratch-Off lottery tickets and yelling at TV newscasters. Today you are free to declare today National Paul Day, or National Maria Day, and go to hell with yourself devising arbitrary rules and practices. The Traditional Banging Of The Tympani Drums, anyone? How about spinning the Debt Wheel to decide which bills gets paid this month? Communicating with lesser mortals via bullhorn is another attractive option, as is commanding your pets to line up in alphabetical order. There’s nothing preventing you from renting spotlights and a marching band to let the world know who’s day is today, either, or commissioning a sculptor to immortalize your likeness in purple Play Dough. It’s your day, your rules.

•Suggested Activities: Affixing your official seal to your Holiday Decree with hot wax and signet ring, then commanding the Town Crier to spread the news.

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