Our brand new president threatened to invade Mexico and Chicago, fired his Acting Attorney General and Border Security chief, creeped out the Prime Minister of Australia, threatened to defy the courts, declined to mention Jews on Holocaust Remembrance Day, had a 5 year-old boy handcuffed alone for hours, ordered a Muslim Travel Ban, got infuriated when people called it a Muslim Travel Ban, restarted the Dakota pipeline, attacked a U.S. Senator, Arnold Schwarzenegger and 2 judges, kicked off Black History Month by proving he knows nothing about Black History, got a Navy Seal and an 8 year-old girl killed in Yemen, discussed the bad ratings of Celebrity Apprentice at the National Prayer Breakfast, vowed to cut off federal funding to American cities, turned a Supreme Court nomination into a Reality TV cliffhanger, decided to sell millions of acres of public land, and began dismantling environmental and financial regulations in order to render America a toxic wasteland populated by princes and paupers. Other than that, though, everything went pretty smooth.