Like a great many things in the modern world, this holiday comes to us courtesy of Rome,
NATIONAL BANISH EVIL SPIRITS DAY!
Who can argue with avoiding evil spirits? Called “Lupercalia” by ancient Romans, this holiday is designed to avert evil, purify our surroundings and release health and fertility for all. The name Lupercalia derives from Lupa, the she-wolf that suckled and raised the twins Romulus and Remus, who founded Rome. Romulus wound up killing Remus (no one’s ever heard of the Remulan Empire, have they?), so Rome knows from evil spirits. You might want to abbreviate the traditional Roman opening ceremony of sacrificing two male goats and a dog, then whipping girls and young women with strips of their flesh, but the rest of the proceedings sound promising, revolving around wine and nudity, which always make for interesting memories. Then again, don’t all Roman celebrations revolve around wine and nudity? Oh well, one can’t be too careful with evil spirits, so it’s best to go with the program.
•Suggested Activities: Partying like it’s MCMXCIXI