NATIONAL NAME YOURSELF DAY!
We’re not talking about using an alias and taking it on the lam, just asking why should showbiz types be the only ones who get to change their names from Archibald Leach to Cary Grant? Frances Ethel Gumm gets to be Judy Garland, Joseph Yule, Jr. becomes Mickey Rooney and Reginald Dwight rocks the house as Elton John. Could Norma Jeane Mortenson have been anywhere near as fabulous as Marilyn Monroe? Marion Robert Morrison was so traumatized by his given name that he took two new ones, John Wayne and The Duke. So, for at least one day, give yourself the name of the person you have become, not that screaming little baldy your parents named before having any idea who you are. Just who are you, really? If you love your beer and want to proclaim it to the world, how about Suds O’Blivion? Having a grumpy day, Barky Crabapple? Looking good, Cherry Pie! Are you Rock & Roll’s foremost fan, Raquel Knight? Who can ignore Mary Goround or Red Whytenblue? Dumb names are fine, some people live with one their whole lives, while Name Yourself Day comes but once a year. So live it up, Doctor Feelgood.
•Suggested Activities: Not visiting a tattoo parlor today.