If America has a smell, it is a barbecue.

No one has anything in common with most politicians and are uncomfortable in their presence, even the ones they like and vote for. Successful politicians are high-intensity salesmen who never take a minute off. After a very short while we’re all “Geez, can”t we talk about baseball or something? You already made the friggin’ sale, you’re in, you’re elected, you won, okay? We got it! Knock it off with the spiel already.”

Is there anything sadder than the ideological purge being carried out in today’s Republican Party? Good strategy, kick out the smart ones, let the scary messianic nut jobs lead. Can we be absolutely certain that James Carville didn’t orchestrate this whole thing?

One night stands are better than nothing.

When you’re in Coney Island, you don’t care about a damned thing in the world. Which is the whole idea of Coney Island.

One accurate gauge to measure effective nations and societies is the number of people trying to get in versus the number of people scheming to get out. Americans are damned lucky to be living in the prime destination of the latter group, and a place where anyone can leave if they feel like it. Almost no one does. Where would you rather live?

Cherry trees are so beautiful for 3 weeks a year they don’t even have to produce cherries to earn their keep.

Loneliness is everything they say it is, only ten times worse. Connect.

The reason for the existence of time is so we can tell jokes and watch sports without everyone knowing the ending. It also lets men know when to shave and to change the batteries in the smoke alarms.

The “life of the party” is usually hammered.

Very few people think there are nearly enough corporate officers from the financial industries under arrest for grand theft, criminal conspiracy and fraud. There are many thousands of people in prison for lesser offenses. Dollar for dollar, John Dillinger, Willie Sutton, Bonnie and Clyde, Jesse James and The Dalton Gang were pikers by comparison.

Remember, it’s not defeat that matters. It’s de hands!

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