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THE LIFE COACH SAYS: GET YOURS!

Life Coach here, you there. Today we talk about getting what you want. Always remember, other people are not important when it comes to getting your way, that’s Rule #1 for looking out for #1. Oh sure, you’ve got to put up with other people, there’s no getting around that, but if you change your attitude towards others, it won’t be so bad. Don’t look at them like you have been your whole life, as worthy individuals with the same rights as you, with feeling and desires and aspirations. That outlook is for saps. Look at other people as a means to getting what you want. They can do things for you, get you things and generally make themselves useful to you. Never do anything yourself that someone else will do for you.

For those that cannot serve your ends, well, who needs ’em? Sure, they have their wants and needs too, but who cares? That’s their business and their responsibility to get theirs, not yours. Besides, you can’t feel what they’re feeling, therefore it isn’t real and has nothing to do with getting what you want. But first you have to decide what it is in life that you really want. Is it money and material things? Of course it is! What the hell else is there? Well, there’s poverty and misery, and Life Coach says you can have my share of that!

Or maybe you are one of those people who seek other things in life, useless crap like dignity, integrity, goodness, love, brotherhood and inner peace. In that case, you’re the perfect sort of person that Life Coach recommends his students seek out. You are ideal for helping others get what they want, and will likely feel good about yourself when you’re being used like a tool. Life Coach and his students appreciate it. Not grateful appreciate, mind you, but mindful of the fact that you fools can’t do enough for others, and thats right up our alley. Well take all you’ve got to offer, and then some. You may not like what I’m selling, but you can’t fault my honesty. The Life Coach doesn’t need saps as students, he wants those who want to take what the saps have.

That’s the name of the game in Getting Yours; taking. As far as we know we get only this one measly life, so you’ve got to take whatever you can get your hands on. Remember, money buys plenty of happiness and material things are a constant source of comfort and joy. Take Life Coach for example. I have six beautiful homes on three continents, two private jets, a dozen cars and a whole bunch of servants. I run around with all sorts of beautiful women, all of who eventually leave me when they realize that I’m not all that interested in the stupid shit they talk about or what they want (like that could ever be important to me!), and that works out just fine. Next! Happiness and fulfillment are mine.

So, before we get into the nuts and bolts of exactly how to acquire all you want, first you have to develop the proper attitude towards life. Before you can embrace The Life Coach’s philosophy, you must rid yourself of the emotional and intellectual baggage that has been preventing you from realizing your dreams. Stop looking at those other people as precious beings deserving of whatever goodness and rewards they can get from this life. If that was true they’d have already done whatever it takes to get what they want! The fact that they haven’t just proves that they are lazy drones undeserving of anything but whatever drifts their way in the course of their impoverished and unfocused lives. No, thanks, that’s not the way of achievers and accumulators.

Focus is paramount, and your focus must always be squarely on yourself. If you turn your attention away from what is important (you!), you wind up getting bogged down in the messy and chaotic lives of these pesky other people. Some of them might even expect you to share what you have or who you are just because they do! Who needs that horror? Emotional attachments are real focus busters and a drain on you. The Life Coach doesn’t welcome students who are unfocused. My seminars are for the seriously dedicated, and by dedicated I mean committed to themselves and their own pleasure, comfort and possessions.

You see, don’t you,  where this is leading? You think The Life Coach is going to give away all his secrets in a free internet blog? Get real! I only took this job at this Mickey Mouse web site to promote my Self Help Life Coach Seminars, at $300 a pop, in which I outline my surefire program for personal success. Individual sessions are also available for serious students, prices to be discussed at the seminars. If you don’t get this whole concept, you aren’t Self Help Life Coach Seminar material and don’t deserve success and fulfillment. There are givers and there are takers in this world, and takers are my kind of people. It’s just that simple.

So if you want everything you’ve ever dreamed of and don’t feel like sharing it, mail me a check or money order for $250 to reserve your seat in my next seminar and get the ball rolling! You can even submit the money via PayPal with your credit card, The Life Coach is not picky about where he picks up his long green, just so long as he gets his. Just pay your money and come equipped with the proper attitude: that it’s about time you got yours and screw everybody else! Money, power and possessions are waiting for you to claim them, women will beg you to use them! The Life Coach will show you how it’s done, then it is up to you to do it. All you have to lose is being a loser.

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