Singer, Songwriter & Mad Blogger
Call Us Free: 1-800-123-4567
D.O.P.O.T.O., Humor

DOPOTO REPORTS: THE SKY IS NOT FALLING

The Department Of Pointing Out The Obvious (DOPOTO), in the course of performing our our only function, pointing out the emperor’s new clothes, has been perusing the various sensational news reports concerning the election of a single senator in Massachusetts. The Senate seat in question had belonged to the late Senator Teddy Kennedy for 47 years but was won by a Republican¬† candidate, a former naked male model named Scott Brown. Republicans are boasting that this is a strong rebuke to President Obama, while Democrats are panicking that they’ve lost their Senate “super-majority” and have to rethink their thinking.

What operatives from both political parties fail to remember is that the Democratic candidate, interim Senator Martha Coakley, completely misread her Massachusetts constituency by being completely out of touch with how they feel about the Boston Red Sox, going so far as to claim that ex-Boston World Series hero Curt Schilling was a Yankee fan. Almost every human being in America realizes how grave an error that is and that Red Sox fans are basically a few million potentially violent psychopaths. That is the only reason Ms. Coakley lost the election. You simply do not open your mouth about the Boston Red Sox anywhere in New England with inaccurate information, especially concerning the hated New York Yankees, who they watched win 26 World Championships in the 86 years from 1918 until 2004, when Boston finally won the World Series again.

The government was not toppled by the election of Mr. Brown, their overwhelming Democratic majority remains intact. Nobody is longing for the return of Bush The Younger and Shotgun Dick Cheney. As far as President Obama is concerned, what America is seeing is a young president learning on the job, by no means an unprecedented state of affairs. All our young presidents, Clinton, Kennedy and Theodore Roosevelt, went through the same tough initiation to the halls of power, suffering some initial setbacks and disappointments. Hopefully Mr. Obama will come out of these experiences the wiser and like his fellow young presidents become an effective and memorable leader.

Certainly Kennedy and Roosevelt left their indelible stamps on America, and Bill Clinton won two terms and presided over a time of peace and prosperity, no small achievement in this wicked world. The Scott Browns of this world pose no threat to President Obama or the Democratic agenda, and odds are that his will be a short time in the Senate when Massachusetts Democrats wake up and run a properly Red Sox-sensitive candidate next time around. This election represents no snowballing trend, no sea change in American politics, merely a bonehead move by Massachusetts Democrats who assumed that Kennedy’s Senate seat was theirs by default. Complacency is to blame, and the Boston Red Sox factor. A slap in the face to complacency is never a bad thing. Nor is reminding politicians that their hometown baseball teams mean more to Americans than their Senators.

This was a report from The Department Of Pointing Out The Obvious

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.