We might as well just throw in the towel when it comes to figuring out this world. There’s a global epidemic of Murphy’s Law: “Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong,” and the best minds and the sincerest of intentions can’t make heads or tails of it or fix any problems. Masochists that we are, we continue following the news reports, and none of it seems any good. The globe is warming, the sky itself is poisoned, there’s genocide campaigns all over the world, crazy wars that make no sense, half the world living in a technologically advanced age filled with gizmos they can’t figure out and the other half stuck in the Bronze Age farming with sharp sticks and oxen.

The population is rapidly approaching 7 billion and we can’t even feed those that are here. Jesus freaks have declared themselves no longer outcast simpletons and have become politically powerful and Allah freaks have done the same, and now they want us all to revisit The Crusades and Jihad. China manufactures everything, people are under the impression that Iran is important and Russia is is becoming a Mafiaocracy. The world is upside down and it seems none of us can right it. Well, there is an answer, people, one nearly as old as civilization itself. In past ages, when things went wrong and no one had either the wit or the energy to fix them, they simply blamed the Jews. It solved nothing, of course, but it worked for centuries to make the rest of us feel better about ourselves.

But, you say, there are only 14 million Jews in the entire world, less that one-quarter of one-percent of the world’s population, so how can we blame everything on the Jews? Well, that’s the beauty of it, that there are so few of them that most people in the world have never met an actual Jew! Who better than someone you’ve never met? This way you can attribute all sorts of demonic qualities to them and never be the wiser! No one wants to meet the devil and find out he’s not such a bad guy after all, that just kills the whole concept of scapegoating. So, who’s to say that global warming isn’t their fault? Of course it is, they are devils! What about all the savage genocide wars in Africa? Who’s fault would that be? Easy – the Jews. They have been a global scapegoat for millennia, so why stop now? Besides, we’re way past the point of seeking solutions, we’re just looking to lay some blame here. Figuring stuff out is hard, but pointing fingers? Piece of cake.

So, let’s see, the backwardness, the lack of education, industry and any interest at all in helping themselves improve their lot in life in the Muslim world has always been the Jews’ fault. Islam is way ahead of the curve in Jew-blaming for their misery, and it’s about time the rest of the world caught up. Like our Muslim brothers and sisters, we have become just too damned lazy to fix anything anymore, so we start wars, conduct terror campaigns and  scream at the top of our lungs that our invented enemies are in league with the devil and must be eradicated. None of which makes a lick of sense and exhibits the social development of a bunch of particularly nasty 5 year-olds, but that’s all we’ve got lately and we need someone to blame for our shortcomings. And like an old bottle of fine wine, the Jews are the perfect balm for a troubled mind. It’s all their fault.

So, let’s give this a whirl: Teen-age pregnancies? Caused by the Jews! The AIDS epidemic? Again, the Jews! The crazy wars America can’t stop fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan? We’re going to go with the big guns here, a Zionist Conspiracy. See, it’s a beautiful thing, people! That whole Zionist Conspiracy deal has been whipped out, dusted off and presented like it was brand new for any number of human failings, catastrophes and screw ups throughout history. Why invent a new scapegoat when we’ve still got the good old Jews to blame for our troubles? Better still, they’re used to it, and won’t take any breaking in. So, the global financial meltdown of 2008? The Jews’ fault! Corruption in South America, wheres there’s like, 12 Jews? It’s those 12 Jews’ fault, of course! While all this Jew blaming won’t solve a damned thing, it will make the rest of feel not so stupid, lazy and helpless. Of course the reason why we feel so stupid, lazy and helpless is because of the Jews. It’s all their fault. Everything.

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