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Humor

SIGNS YOU SHOULD HAVE STAYED IN SCHOOL

What’s your job? Do you like it? Are you paid enough? Is there any future in it? Do you like your coworkers? Do you have any? Some of us work alone. Sometimes we all get the feeling there’s something else we could be doing, maybe we should have gotten some better training, stayed in school a little longer. That may be unrealistic and most of us are pretty much doing what we should be doing, but there are some jobs that sort of confirm those nagging little doubts. You may regret not staying in school if:

Your job involves using a shovel and you can’t help but notice that when other guys have to dig holes they get to use a giant machine and get it done in about 10 minutes while you’re there all day breaking your back.

If any of these phrases come up often in the course of your day: “Paper or plastic?”, “Would you like fries with that?”, “Decaf or regular?”, or “Can you spare any change sir?”

The place where you work gets raided by Customs officials regularly, who are amused that you are not an illegal resident.

Your boss wears a ripped T-shirt and drinks beer all day long.

Nobody threatens to fire you and hire someone else who works cheaper.

There’s a “Help Wanted, no experience necessary” sign that’s permanently on display. 

You work in a corrugated tin building with no heat, air conditioning or hot water, with several large, irritable dogs roaming around.

The guy you replaced is in the hospital with an unidentified deadly fungus, just like the the guy he replaced.

Instead of a raise you are given the title: “Senior Box Lifter.”

Your Assistant Box Lifter gets promoted over you just because he can add.

The office where you work still uses Commodore Computers.

The sign at the store where you work says; “Welcome to Walmart.”

Part of your job is answering subpoenas.

When you can do your job drunk just as well as sober.

Your heath plan consists of a First Aid kit nailed to the wall that’s been out of Band Aids and aspirin for years.

You’re asked to make a judgement call on which meat gets labeled “Dog Food,” and which gets sold to fast-food chains, and the boss is constantly questioning your decisions.

You are the only person where you work who speaks English.

Your kid makes more than you do on his paper route.

You call in sick one day and the person who takes the call doesn’t know who you are.

You finally get to buy that toaster you’ve always dreamed of.

You need to have your family bail you out of jail on a regular basis.

Your boss’ title is “Pimp.”

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