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WHEN POODLES ATTACK (THINGS TO BE GLAD ABOUT)

Be glad that Chihuahuas and Toy Poodles are tiny. Unhinged looking, too, with those angry, bulging eyes and snapping little jaws. If they were the size of Great Danes or German Shepherds we'd all be in trouble. Doesn't seem like owning one of these maladjusted little creatures is anything like having a regular dog, who are for the most part pretty happy-go-lucky. Give me a slobbering, easy-to-please mutt any day of the week.

Be glad we have the Olsen twins. It could have been the Olson triplets.

Rejoice that Earth Day is over and we can get back to the business of conspicuously consuming.

Be of good cheer when contemplating our brilliant Cable TV political commentators and the fact that most of them will go away after November's election. At least for 2 or 3 months, anyway. Then as soon as the new President is sworn in the presidential campaign for 2012 kicks off.

Be glad you were born who you are and not Donald Trump.

All are invited to wax ecstatic about the Summer Olympics in China, Incorporated. They will last but 17 days. It will only seem longer. But don't worry, if your favorite Synchronized Swimming Team doesn't win the Gold, there' s always 4 years from now.

Be very glad you you don't have to read in the papers every day what a whack job your minister is.

Be eternally grateful that Rupert Murdoch has not bought the internet. Yet.

And finally, be glad that things are not worse. You could be living in Bayonne, New Jersey.

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