Is there a sadder sight than a middle-aged drunk in a cheap ill-fitting wig trying to light a cigarette with shaky hands with not so much success while trying mightily not to look drunk?

Here's another sad sight: A once proud snowman melting away, his carrot nose and button eyes pinned between his scarf and hat, his smile melting into a desperate silent cry for help. Oh, how the mighty have fallen!

Is there a sadder creature on this earth than a three-legged dog, or a more admirable example of maintaining one's dignity in the face of cruel fate? More power to you, magnificent mutt. Hobble on!

Is there a gladder sound in this world than hearing the ice cream man's bell ringing for the first time of the season? I don't care how old you are or how cynical and jaded this world has turned your heart, at that moment you are once again a little child filled with unbridled joy.

Is there a sadder sight than a long line of flag-draped coffins on an airport runway?

Are there any sadder eyes than those of a small child watching the circus leave town?

Is there any gladder sight than the eyes of that same child when the circus pulls back into town the next year and starts setting up their tents?

Is there a sadder sight than a sixty-year old bleached blonde with grotesque cosmetic surgery and wearing fishnet stockings and a mini-skirt? Or a more welcome sight than twenty-five year old blonde in the same outfit?

Is there a sadder sight than the look on the face of an Amazon Indian in a loin cloth watching a giant bulldozer destroy what he thought was the only world? Sort of like what I imagine our faces would look like if giant spaceships suddenly appeared and started harvesting the Rocky Mountains and siphoning our oceans dry.

Is there a more magnificent sight than the the Manhattan skyline as seen from the Staten Island Ferry at night, all lit up and beautiful, Lady Liberty off to one side bathed in her own soft lights looking on like a proud mama? Take that ride one day with your special somebody or your children and you'll be glad you did. None of you will ever forget that sight if you live to be a thousand. And oh, by the way, it's a free ride.

Is there a sadder sight than a Christian Crusader for Moral Turpitude and Righteous Rectitude on the part of the rest of us standing in front of a microphone trying to explain to a room full of reporters exactly why he or she was caught in some tawdry scandal involving one form or another of sex or the theft of a sizable amount of money? And infinitely sadder still when they don't come clean and apologize but instead attempt to blame their accusers or claim it was all an unfortunate misunderstanding. Ah, the emperor's new clothes…

Is there a more welcome sight than a public figure sticking to their beliefs and what they know and believe to be right and refusing to bow down to the special interest groups in order to gain approval? Let me know when you see such a thing…

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