Bob Crespo

If you find yourself in the middle of nowhere eluding armed men sent to hunt you down with bloodhounds, odds are you didn’t think things all the way through. Sometimes the things we do have serious repercussions.

The worst murderer is the poisoner, the coldest and most evil of beings.

It is your right to be an idiot, and everyone else’s right not to be.

The people who live on the opposite side of the planet think it is you who lives on the bottom of the world. Just go about your business and pay them no mind, that’s just the blood rushing to their heads.

Some people think the poor exist as useful reminders to their children to be frugal with their money. 4 billion reminders.

Consistency beats intermittent brilliance, but not always. Shooting stars happen.

We are all perfect except for our many faults. There are no flawless diamonds.

It’s okay if you like it just fine where everything is all paved and lit up. Cities are just as much a part of nature as anthills, farms, valleys and mountains, are usually a whole lot more fun and always the better bet for a decent meal.

Learn to fake sincerity and your fortune is made. Therapist, customer service rep, Cable TV angry person, self-help guru, the clergy… the sky’s the limit!

In case you do not have enough aggravation in your life, take up golf, and your misery will be complete.