TODAY’S NATIONAL DAY, 9/13/13 – THE HECK WITH WHAT HOLIDAY IT IS, IT’S FRIDAY THE 13TH!
This is the day that Jason waits for, just staring into space thinking about nothing at all, sitting in a chair in such places where psycho killers with hockey masks and chain saws hang out between gory murder sprees, watching the same 3 M*A*S*H episodes on an old Beta Max machine over and over, waiting. That’s right, today is
THE HECK WITH WHAT HOLIDAY IT IS, IT’S FRIDAY THE 13th!
Say what you will about how phobias and superstitions aren’t real, that only applies to black cats, rabbit’s feet and walking under ladders. This is Friday the 13th we’re talking about here, the Big Dog of Bad Mojo, and so we tread carefully. If you hear a loud creepy whisper coming from the walls telling you “get out!“, just get the hell out of the house and don’t ask questions. Don’t go pulling open doors and whipping curtains aside, either, those are always the first people to get it. If you hear someone trying to break in or some usual racket going on inside your house, the right way to run is away from the sound, not right at it. If you let the dog out and hear a blood-curdling yelp, don’t go searching around in the dark for Fluffy, he’s a goner. And whatever you do, make sure your car battery is fully charged. Nothing worse than the click-clickety-click of a dead engine with Jason and Freddy pulling on the car doors with bloody hands. Now relax and sleep tight.
*Suggested Activities: Switching your “Elm Street” street signs with the next block.