"There are only two kinds of people in this world: those who lump everybody together into two categories and those who do not." -some comic I saw on TV
I suppose I'm in the second category, the kind of person who doesn't try to organize the people of this world into neat little categories. Life would be simpler if we could readily label people and what they do and the things they like into neat little boxes, but alas, life is simply not simple. Hope I'm not bursting any bubbles out there, pigeonholers. I live in Brooklyn, where there's no shortage of pigeons. Ever seen a pigeon's nest or stood just below one? You get the picture…

That's why I think artistic categories are a bird stain on our garments. While there are many valid categories in music, writing, and art, I think the marketing and business people who run music and publishing companies have gone way overboard. In music, these non-artists were not content with categories like Classical, Pop, Rhythm & Blues, Rock& Roll, Standard, Swing, Salsa, Country & Western, Heavy Metal, Folk and Easy Listening. That's quite a few, no? Not for some.

Apparently there's a third type of person in this world, one whose mania is to create narrow categories of everything under the sun in order to nail it down firmly, label it and sell it. Only you can't do that with artists or the "product" they create. Music executives have invented a mind-numbing array of categories in an attempt to sell music to the people they think want to hear it. What the hell is "alternative neo-traditional country?" You tell me, and as a songwriter I have no clue as to what this person is looking for or even if he or she has a grasp of reality. Who else but a delusional fool would create a category like that? Or "Emo ballad adult pop rock crossover." What?

Same thing with books. Used to be there was fiction and non-fiction with the non-fiction having vague subheadings like Mystery, Romance, Adventure and the like. No more. Publishers and agents have taken a cue from music executives and are trying to micro-manage the creativity of the people who actually create the books that provide them their living by trying to force authors to write for a "demographic." Imagine Mark Twain in a publisher's office these days trying to pitch "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn." It might go like this:

"Mr. Twain, you're writing is certainly fluid and engaging…'
"Thank you, sir."
…"but…"
"But?"
"We feel that our target readers can't relate to rafting down the Mississippi River."
"We? I only see one person in here besides me. And I don't necessarily target anybody"
"A publishing house is a sort of committee, you see, with specific rules and guidelines for writing a book…"
"So go write one already. I wrote this myself, without any committee."
"Well, sir, with all due respect, that's where you made your first mistake. You ought to have submitted a proposal first and allowed us to guide you in formulating your novel."
"Formulating? I'm a writer, not a damned chemist!"
"And our wish is to make you the best, most successful writer you can possibly be. You do understand, don't you?"
"Can't say as I do, sir."
“Aren’t my points obvious?”
"Listen, I don't expect my readers to know about rafting on the Mississippi, any more than readers of old Bill Shakespeare had to know about Royal Courts…"
"Ah, William Shakespeare. You've read him?"
"Who hasn't?"
"Me, for one, at least not for more than a few sentences. I can't believe a writer of his talent didn't choose to submit his work to a skilled editorial and marketing team to really sharpen his style and hit his target audience."
"Seems he did alright without you fellas…"
"Which brings us back to your book and this Huckleberry Finn person. Most people have never met anyone named Huckleberry."
"I expect that's so. But there's also a Tom and a Jim in there, as well as an Aunt Polly."
"Aunt Polly? Mr. Twain, that's as corny as they come if you don't mind my saying so."
"I do mind, sir. I had an Aunt Polly! Using her name for one of my characters is a tribute to a woman I loved dearly."
"Well then, let's talk about your Jim character and your unrestrained use of the n-word. In today's market that word is simply unaccept…."
"You mean 'Nigger Jim' of course."
"Yes, n-word Jim."
"Wasn't no such thing as the n-word at that time in the rural south, you mutton head! Jim and millions like him were slaves and everybody called them niggers! Ought I not point that out and what a horrible situation we had here in these United States? You think glossing over that fact and using some cutesy-pie euphemism can change what was, sir?"
"There's no need to get testy with me sir…"
"Testy? ,Testy? Why, you're lucky I don't throttle you right here and now, you callow bloodsucking fool! Good day to you, sir!"

And so The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn goes unpublished. Or how about an interview of Jimi Hendrix by a record company executive. Might go something like this:

"Next!"
"Sir, my name is Jimi Hendrix and I've got some songs I think…."
"Next!"

So the next time you go to a record store to buy some CD's bear in mind what category of person you are and buy only the sort of music the executives expect you to enjoy. They put a lot of time and effort into peigeonholing your particular butt so don't go upsetting thier applecart. Same when buying books. Don't buy or read any books that are offered for sale in another type of person's category. And don't read any Mark Twain, for God's sake. The foul man uses the n-word and refuses to have a committee of business people control his artistic output. As for Hendrix, you're on dangerous ground ground listening to his beautiful music. Tread lightly, pigeons! Or better yet, let the Committees in Charge of Categorizing Your Ass know what pigeons do to people who try to get too close to home.